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"Online," he whispered, like he couldn't believe he hadn't thought of it before. "I'd like that, Daddy. Maybe we could even find a shirt with a race car on it." I nodded with a smile. I would search every website in creation until I found my sweet boy a race car shirt.
Until then, this outfit would be comfortable for him to wear while playing. But there was one thing missing. I took Henley's hand to offer support when I asked, "Would you like to wear a diaper too?" I thought it would be best to ask quickly and directly.
His answering blush didn't surprise me. Nor did the way his fingers sought out the ends of his hair. I knew he was nervous, but I was so proud of his bravery when he gave a tiny nod. "I've pictured this moment so many times; playing with my Daddy for the first time, and every daydream always involves a diaper."
I longed to make all of his dreams come true. "Where are they?"
Henley nodded towards the dresser. "Top drawer."
I slid it open, finding briefs on the left hand side and a few diapers on the right. They weren’t the cute, playful ones I imagined for him; they were the ones sold in stores for medical needs. They were meant to be functional yet hidden. I would buy my boy some that he would want to show off. At least to me.
I lifted one from the drawer, feeling the soft cotton beneath my fingers. "I bet this will feel nice against your skin." When I looked back at Henley, my little sweetheart was lit up like a tomato.
It was my job and honor to relax his fears. "I'd love to help you with everything, but If you'd be more comfortable, you can put the diaper on by yourself and I can take care of the rest of your clothes. I can even leave the room if you prefer." I would take things at whatever speed he needed to go.
Henley twisted his hair and squished his lips as he thought. "I want you to do it. I really want to try, but…what if I get too nervous and change my mind? I don't want to upset you."
It took a lot of courage to voice his concerns, but I wanted to assure him, "Sweetheart, that would never upset me. No matter what we're doing - playing, being physical, or even just talking - if you're uncomfortable with anything, I want you to tell me. It's my job to take care of you, so I need to know how to do that. Does that make sense?"
He nodded his understanding. Still, it could be difficult to speak up, especially when he was naturally nervous and inexperienced, so I thought of a way to incorporate a game-like way to help.
"I've got an idea; if you ever feel uncomfortable with something, I want you to think of a special word you can say. That will let me know to stop, and we can talk about how you're feeling." I thought Henley would feel more at ease with a safe word; a way to press pause if needed.
"I like that idea," he said, loosening his death grip on his hair. "Can it be any word?"
"Yep. Any word you want. Just tell me what it is so that I know if I hear it, to stop what I'm doing and talk to you."
"Okay." He swished his lips again before deciding on, "Pickles. It will be easy to remember because I don't like them."
"Perfect," I chuckled. "Pickles it is." Henley sighed and his shoulders lost some of their tension; he liked having a clear plan. "Are you ready to get changed now?"
"Yes," he answered clearly with a determined nod.
"Great. Sit on your bed for me, please."
He did as I requested, and I placed his clothes on the mattress next to him. I lowered myself onto my knees in front of him and slipped off his sneakers, smiling at the bright orange socks beneath.
"Orange is my favorite color," he told me when he noticed my grin.
"Very nice. My favorite color is purple."
"I like that one too."
I chuckled before tickling the bottom of his feet until he joined in. "These socks are too cute to take off," I decided. "Besides, I want to make sure your toes stay warm."
"Oh, that reminds me; I wore a jacket today," Henley told me excitedly. "Remember how I promised I'd wear one?"
I beamed at the pride in his voice. "I do remember, kitten. You did such a great job." I stood up, popping a kiss to his forehead on my way. "Arms up, please." Henley followed my instructions, reaching for the ceiling. Without even flinching, he allowed me to peel his shirt from him, baring his torso.
His body was slim, pale, smooth, and perfect. "You're so beautiful," I told him, and was pleased to learn that when he blushed, it spread down onto his chest as well. "Lay back for me, sweetheart."
