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She gives me a small, encouraging smile. “I had a great therapist when I was a teenager.”
I didn’t know that about her. I file it away to ask about later. “Seeing the therapist also made me realize it was time to give medication a try.”
“I’m really proud of you for that, Grizz.” I don’t know how she always knows what to say, but her words are just what I needed.
Clearing my throat, I continue, “I thought I’d only be on them while I sorted through the shit with my mom’s death. I wanted to be…the kind of man you could be with. Wanted to be worthy of you.”
“You don’t have to earn me. I’m not a prize to be won.” Her voice is soft and gentle despite her words. She doesn’t sound angry, more like she’s mystified I could think that.
“I tried twice to stop them. My doctor and therapist knew. I did everything right, even tapered the dose. Both times, things got bad again. It’s not a feeling of sadness for me. It’s…what was the word you used? Disconnected, that’s a good one for it. I just go numb sometimes. I don’t want to be numb. I get in this fog that I can’t get out of on my own.”
“You’re back on the meds again,” she supplies quietly. She can tell the difference when I’m on them and when I’m not. For some reason, this doesn’t surprise me.
I let out a deep breath. It’s time to tell her the worst part. The truth that might drive her away forever.
“After the second attempt, I finally accepted that my brain chemistry is fucked. I think…it might be genetic. My mom was a junkie, but looking back as an adult that’s healing, I think maybe she was self-medicating. She went through a lot of trauma, and she never got help. She was just another troubled teenager, written off by society. The day I realized that, I finally forgave her for abandoning me and myself for not saving her. We were both sick and didn’t even know it.”
“It’s OK. I’m here,” she whispers.
She’s not getting it. She doesn’t understand what I just told her. I have to make her see. “I said it’s genetic. It’s not going away for me. And if I’m—fuck, if I’m lucky enough to breed you then there’s a chance, my kid could be just like me.”
I’m telling her this stuff, fully aware that my cock is still in her body and my come is still smeared between her thighs. It’s the conversation I should have had earlier, but I was too far gone to think about it. Too far gone to consider the implications.
She makes an indignant sound in the back of her throat. “You mean our baby could turn out to be kind and caring and a good friend? Is that what you’re saying?”
She’s breaking me, offering me kindness that I don’t deserve. “Our kid might have fucked up brain chemistry too. This stuff runs in families.”
“And so do dozens of other health problems! So where do we draw the line, Grizz? Should I love our baby less if she has epilepsy or multiple sclerosis or diabetes? Does that somehow mean you’ll have less room in your heart? Or do we just love and accept any child we’re blessed with?”
Wonder and awe fill my heart. She can’t be saying what I think she’s saying. She can’t be telling me these things. “You’d love a kid like me?”
“Of course, I would, you big doofus. I’d love our kid just as much as I love you.”
Her words hit me in the chest. She loves me. This incredible woman loves me, and it’s time I show her how much I love her too.
9
GINGER
Grizz rolls over my body and stares me down, a fierce expression on his face. “Say it again.”
I swallow hard, suddenly aware that he didn’t say it back. But he has to feel it too, right? This incredible connection between us.
“Ginger,” he growls my name and wiggles his hips. The motion drives him deeper into my pussy.
I moan around his girth. “When you started talking about breeding me, I got so wet again.”
His fingers find my clit, playing with my sensitive nub. “You want that, sweetheart? Want me to do this every night? Spank your ass then breed your virgin pussy?”
I close my eyes, loving the mental image of him turning my ass red then rutting into me again and again until I’m full of his come.
A stinging smack delivered to my mound has me opening my eyes and scowling at him. “Not fair. I was so close.”
He glares down at me as he continues to thrust into me. He’s not touching my clit anymore, and I ache for it. Ache for him to play with me. “I asked you a question. Do you want me to breed this pussy? Make it nice and full of my come so you can have my babies?”
