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I had just left my office after a strenuous day at work. I looked in the sky and saw that it was getting somewhat dark. What I needed now was to rest after the back splitting pain of sitting in the office poring over files and reports that my assistants consistently brought to my office for vetting.
I turned as I got to my car, ready to open the door and slip into the driver’s seat. I saw Jean behind me with some of the files I needed to take home. He dropped the files in the back seat and stood for a moment, probably thinking I'd change my mind and let him drive me, but I was going to see Kayla. I didn't need Jean around for that.
“That'll be all, Jean,” I told him.
“Alright, sir,” he said and walked back into the building.
I heaved a sigh as I settled in the seat and turned on the engine. Work was getting more strenuous these days, with the company having to work on three big contracts at the same time. Still, I took solace in the fact that we'd rake in some big money when this was all done.
For now, I'd just drive to Kayla’s workplace and drive around town with her to ease my stress. Maybe we'd go to my place and enjoy a little skin-on-skin release, or we could just be together, open a bottle of wine, and talk.
One thing that Kayla and I had developed over the past few weeks has been a high level of mutual understanding, and, of course, I didn't need to mention that we were super attracted to each other.
I drove out of the parking lot and turned on the music, although I kept it low. Loud music had a way of distracting me. I held my hands on the wheels and nodded my head to the upbeat tune emanating from the speakers. My mind drifted to Kayla. I remembered that our last conversation had been about me helping her find a new job so that she could quit that low-paying one at the bookstore. I suggested her working with a publisher in town.
“They turned me down when I went there,” she said. “They didn’t even look at my resume.”
“Sometimes, these firms can be like that,” I told her. “But you'd like it there, don’t you think?”
“I don’t want to be there just because of your influence,” Kayla said. “I want somewhere I'll be appreciated without knowing someone who knows the top man.”
I knew where she was coming from. Kayla liked to do things her way. It was best I left her to figure things out for herself and then offer to help when she needed me. The last thing I wanted was to become like her parents and try to force something on her.
Soon, I nosed the car down the street that led to the bookstore. I tapped the steering wheel as the music began to get to me. My mind again drifted to those times when I'd driven past the bookstore without knowing that the most amazing woman I had met since Megan died was in there.
Thinking about Megan’s death soured my mood instantly. It had been two years, but I had never really gotten over the death of my wife. It was a sad fact that we'd never been able to realize all our dreams together that hurt me the most. Death had snatched her from me in the cruelest fashion.
Megan had gone to my brother-in-law Mitchell’s house, and they were driving down to meet me when they'd been involved in a car crash. A truck driven by a drunk driver had veered out of its lane and had rammed into Megan’s car. Megan had been a careful driver, and she'd always cautioned me whenever I was driving too fast when she'd been in the car with me.
It scarred my soul that she had to die in an unfortunate accident. Mitchell had also been injured, as well as Chelsea, who was left confined to a wheelchair. It was the darkest day of my life, and the knowledge that they were on their way to give me a birthday present didn't make it easy for me to forget. In a way, I felt responsible.
There were times when I felt like a black hole, cursed to suck in all the loved ones around me. It was tough to fight off these thoughts because I'd also lost my parents on a different tragic day. At a fundraising event they had attended together, two masked men entered the building and began shooting. It was heartbreaking that, of the hundreds of people present, my parents were among the five people who had lost their lives.
My eyes were blurry with tears at this point, and I had to take one hand off the wheel to grab a handkerchief and wipe them away.Alphas don’t cry like wussies.I could hear my father's voice in my head. I dropped the scrap of linen and returned my focus to the road ahead of me. I was nearing the bend that would lead me to Kayla’s place of work.
I heaved a sigh as I thought about the fact that Kayla was the first woman I had warmed to since Megan died. It was true that I'd had random flings before, but those were mainly to release sexual pressure. There was nothing attached at all. My soul still belonged to Megan, and none of those women I had gone to bed with did anything to relieve the pain I felt. Only with Kayla did I find that same peace. I felt the happiness that had eluded me since Megan died. I was happy, and I felt that Megan would be happy for me wherever she was.
The only thing that held me back with Kayla was that I was still scared that committing to a serious relationship with her could expose her to some kind of harm that I couldn't foresee. I was not precisely a superstitious man, but I found the pattern of the people I love getting hurt a little too frequent to ignore. I wasn't ready to drag Kayla into that possibility.
By now, I had arrived at the bookstore. There was no one coming in or going out of the shop at the moment, I observed as I parked the car. I wondered how much in sales they took in here per day. It was clear that the business wasn't doing so well, or was there a season when books gained traction and people rushed out to buy books? Maybe when an international bestseller book hit the store, I thought as I turned off the engine and alighted from the car.
I adjusted my necktie and shut the car door with my other hand. I started toward the store, knowing that Kayla would still be there. It wasn't quite time for her to end her shift. I'd just hang around with her for a few minutes till her shift was over, then we'd head out and settle on a plan for the night.
I chuckled as I thought of how Kayla had grown on me, from that clumsy girl who tripped over everything in what should have been her comfort zone to the woman dearest to my heart, outside my family, of course.
I wished I could close my mind to the fear of the unknown evil that might befall Kayla and just move things to another level with her, but I wasn't ready for another heartbreak. I knew my world would be shattered beyond redemption if something happened to Kayla. I would keep things this way for now. I knew that I had to maintain a stronghold over my emotions. That is what real men do, I muttered to myself as I walked to the entrance of the bookstore.
By the time I got through the door, I could hear the sound of a short conversation. It was so low that I couldn't pick out anything that was being said. The only thing I was sure about was that one of the voices belonged to a guy while the other one was Kayla.
Was it her employer?
It didn’t sound like it, and now that I could see them, it didn’t look like employer-to-employee chitchat. This looked like two close friends—maybe too close—catching up on their lives. Friends…or lovers?
I felt a rush of anger as I watched them talking. The guy Kayla was talking to was young, in his mid-twenties, just like her. He had shoulder-length, black hair, and he wore a black T-shirt and denim jeans. They were laughing now as if they had just shared a secret joke. I became angry that they were talking in such an intimate manner, that they were so engaged in whatever it was they were talking about that they didn't even notice me.
I took a step forward, now nearing the counter on which they leaned. It was at that point that Kayla noticed me. She must have seen the angry look on my face because she backed away from the long-haired guy and held her hands forward in my direction, signaling for me to stay calm.
“What’s wrong?” The young man asked. He looked at me and ran his eyes over my dark suit. I could see the grudging respect that crept into his eyes as he checked my impeccable appearance. “Kayla, is something wrong?”
