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“He’solder,” I say, knowing I need to be careful. I’m pushing this point far too strongly for somebody who doesn’t care. “But it’s not like he’s some old man. He’s fit. He’s healthy. He’s experienced and mature.”
“Are you sureyoudon’t have a crush on him?” Lexi asks.
I laugh it off, gently guiding my brush across the canvas. “I literally saw him for a minute or two. It’s hard to develop a crush in that time. It’s just that age gaps aren’t the end of the world.”
This is my copout, implying I was talking about my dad.
“I’m not saying that,” Lexi says, getting the message I intended to give, a red herring if there ever was one. “But it would be complicated. He’s twice our age, Sam, more than, technically. He must be forty-one or forty-two. Imagine if we started dating.”
“Then he got older, got sick, and passed away. I get it, okay?”
Lexi stands up. “I’m sorry. I’m an ass. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“You haven’t,” I tell her. At least, not for the reasons she thinks, anyway.
“Are you sure?” she asks doubtfully.
“I’m fine,” I say. “Really. It’s just I wonder if I’ll ever find anybody. If I’ll everwantanybody.”
Maybe I could tell Lexi right here how I feel, all the whispers of the future blooming to vivid life in my mind like fresh paint, but I know her. I know she’d try to make me see sense. Heck, it’s what sheshoulddo. It would be the only reasonable response to so much silliness. That’s why I don’t tell her. I don’t want to be convinced. Let me live in this delusion for a little longer.
CHAPTERSIX
Fletcher
Charles Malone is a short man wearing a scuffed-up leather jacket. He’s around my age, but he’s lived differently. I can tell. A cigarette hangs from his mouth as he approaches me in the park, and his belly peeks out the bottom of his T-shirt. I try not to judge him. Not everybody has had to keep their body in tip-top shape for their career.
It’s been two days since the date. Two days of dreaming about Samantha. Two nights of lying in bed and listing all the reasons I can’t be with her. She dated my son. She’s half my age. She’d never want me. She’s too innocent for somebody as messed up as me. Then, after I finish the list, I start stroking my manhood anyway.
My mind fills with fantasies of Samantha, using the short minutes I spent with her as fuel. Her hips in that dress, her shy smile, her tempting green eyes… Even now, as Charles gets closer, my cock begins to stiffen as I think of her. I need to focus.
“Afternoon,” Charles says, stubbing his cigarette out on the trashcan and then dropping it into the tray.
I nod. “What’ve you got?”
“The name of the man who took your dog and his address.”
Already, I’m mentally preparing for what I’m going to do. I’ll need to be careful. I haven’t got the law or the government on my side here. I haven’t got backup, but I don’t give a damn. Every day I’m apart from Loki is another day that I can’t even think about what could be happening to him.
“But,” Charles continues, “he’s already ditched the apartment. It looks like he’s on the move. There’s a lead—a business card for a motel outside the city. One of the other residents mentioned that Zack Taylor, the dog thief, often stays there.”
“Okay. How much for you to come with me?”
Charles bites down and sucks in a breath. “We’re getting into tricky territory here. We can’t lay siege to a motel. We should really hand this over to the cops now.”
“The cops are struggling to handle crime as it is,” I snap, with way more edge than usual. It’s not seeing my woman, not being with her, holding her, and living in the realm of unproductive daydreaming. “By the time they check this out, Zack will be long gone. I’m going either way, but I’d feel much better knowing I had backup.”
“You’re ex-military, right?” Charles says.
“Something like that,” I grunt.
“Don’t you have any buddies who could help you?”
“Maybe I do,” I snap, “but I’m not asking them.”
There are at least five guys I could call up who’d make the trip, but they’ve all got families, wives, kids, and new lives. Of the three who are no longer in the service, they all have PTSD. I don’t want to trigger any of that crap.
“Twenty,” Charles says after a pause, “but I can’t hurt anybody. I’m there if things get so bad that your or that dog’s life is at risk. That’s it.”
