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“Definitely stupid,” Sasha sighed, nodding slowly. “I don’t get that at all. Why do people think what we do is glamorous?”
“I don’t think anyone thinks it’s glamorous, but if you love the person…” I began.
Sasha shook her head immediately. “Girl, no. There are women out there who think dating a mafia guy is some golden standard until they realize it’s a long, lonely, painful life.”
“The women not from our world have no idea what bullshit it all actually is, and ninety-nine percent of the time, they’re the reason their soulmate gets murdered,” Kas peppered in, head shaking side to side.
“Maybe not that high,” Sasha argued. “Jesus, Kas, you really like embellishing those numbers.”
Kas smirked. “I’m a lawyer.” She turned back to me, grin gone. “People get sloppy when their head isn’t in the game. Why do you think there are so many arranged marriages amongst us? There are no feelings. You marry this person you met a few times, join your empires, have a few kids to pass it all down to, and die.”
“And the wife knows the rules for when their man does die or goes to prison,” Sasha added. “There are no messy emotions. It’s all a business.”
“Lavena’s parents are an exception.” Kas motioned to where Lavena sat reading the label on the wine bottle. “Sometimes, they do fall in love, but still, Marcella knows the drill.”
I thought of my conversation with Darius in the kitchen and almost felt better for it. It may have felt as if my insides were being clawed to shreds by a rusty dagger, but I’d done the right thing. I’d given him a chance. I would not be the reason he died.
Part of me, however, remained angry.
I spent four years waiting for him to be released.
Before that, I waited two years for him to even notice me. Granted, he was with Liya during the first year, but I waited.
I felt like I had spent half my life waiting for him only to keep losing him every time I got close. How was that fair? Why was the universe working so hard to keep us apart? What did I do to deserve this constant and merciless pain?
Maybe I needed to cut my losses.
Maybe that was what I was being told.
Maybe I was pushing for something that wasn’t meant for me.
I wedged a loose fist into the ache between my breasts and watched the gentle lap of the lake roll over loose stones. I concentrated on the silver ripple across the dark surface, the starless sky. It was easier counting the things around me than remembering why my insides hurt so much.
He’d created a fort of pillows and blankets piled high in the center of my reading room when Darius pulled me from my room later that night. The lodge lay in dark slumber, the girls passed out in their respective rooms, oblivious to the two of us tiptoeing past their rooms to my nook.
“In here?” I asked, remembering the feel of his hands on me earlier, dragging me to the floor, twisting my clothes up until I was naked before pushing himself inside me.
Darius nodded, moving past me to take a seat in a chair brought up from the kitchen table. It was positioned at the foot of the makeshift bed. The book I’d given him rested on top. He plucked it up and held it in his lap as he watched me.
“Come here, baby.” I went to him and was positioned between his feet. “Strip for me.”
I only had the dress on. It took no time at all to be standing before his hungry eyes naked, aroused, and embarrassed. It was ridiculous because he’d seen me naked. Maybe not so closely, but close.
“How are you so fucking perfect?” he breathed, not touching me.
Warmth coasted though me, tightening my nipples inches from his face. He made a quiet hum of pleasure that made my core flex.
“We’re going to play a game, kitten. If you win, I will let you cum.”
I chuckled. “I like that.”
He smirked. “I thought you might.” He passed me the book. “I want you to lie down, spread your leg on either side of the chair and read.”
I blinked. “That’s it?”
He pulled off his top and I was momentarily distracted by the sheer beauty of his torso, the hard muscles of his shoulders, the stacked bricks doubling as his abdomen. Until he spoke. “I’m going to play with your pussy, but you will not stop reading or cum. If you do, I’ll win.”
I bit my lip. “What do you win?”
