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She laughed. “Hey, we weren’t judging. We were glad you were finally getting some that didn’t run on electricity.” She laughed harder when I shoved her again.
“Joking aside though,” Lavena pulled my focus back to her, “it sounded consensual. It was not—?”
Horrified by the implications, I shook my head. “No! I mean, yes, it was.”
She nodded, searching my face. “Okay, so now that we got that out of the way. What’s up? Did he say something to you, ‘cuz I know where he sleeps?”
I pulled the blanket back around me tighter. “No, it was my fault. I’m just a fucking idiot.”
“Hey! Whoa there,” my friends chimed in unison, their expressions outraged.
Lavena’s voice rose over the others. “First of all, you will not talk to yourself that way, do you understand? Second of all, tell us what happened.”
I took a breath, using the precious few seconds to try and decide where to even start or how much to say. I’d promised Darius I wouldn’t tell Lavena about Volkov and I would hold that promise simply because I knew Lavena. She would not take that information lightly and if my stupidity got her hurt or killed, they would have to dig two graves, but I knew my friends well enough that they wouldn’t simply let this go without answers.
“It wouldn’t have worked out,” I mumbled at last. “We’re just too different. Plus, he’s your brother and I’m…”
“My sister?” she finished and winced. “Okay, maybe that’s not the best choice of words right now, but you’re family. My soul sister.”
“This is different.”
“How? I’ve been fucking Enzo for three years. As long as you’re okay and happy, and this doesn’t come between ourfriendship, I really couldn’t care who you sleep with … except my dad. Don’t sleep with him. He’s off limits.”
I burst out laughing. “He’s a very handsome man but I’m sure I can contain myself.”
Lavena nodded. “Good. Now, I think my brother is a moron, but I do know he cares about you. I’ve seen it with my own eyes.”
Something dangerous and delicate like hope flared in my chest. “You have? When?”
“We were all present for Christmas,” Kas pointed out. “We could have cooked the turkey with the amount of heat coming off you two. Holy Christ!”
Sasha nodded. “And the way that man looks at you…” she blew out a breath. “If a man looked at me that way, we’d never leave the bedroom. Like ever again.”
There was a ripple of laughter from the rest of us that she met with a grin.
“Then there’s you,” Lavena went on, “getting all red and flustered every time he makes eye contact with you.”
“I do not!” I gasped, feeling my cheeks warm.
“Oh please!” Sasha cried. “Girl, you’re no Meryl Streep. Your acting is shit. If my life was in danger and your acting was the only way to save me?” She threw up her hands. “Just shoot me.”
“Hey!” I protested, both amused and insulted. “Ouch.”
“Baby, I’m sorry.” Sasha took one of my hands in both of hers and looked deep into my eyes. “I love you. I would literally kill for you but lying isn’t your strong suit, okay?”
“She’s not wrong. My dad says if you ever commit a murder, your lawyer will have a hell of a time convincing people you didn’t do it. Your face is too…” She glanced at the other two for the word.
“Expressive?” Sasha guessed.
“Open?” Lavena tried with a shrug.
“Honest,” Kas decided at last. “You can’t hide shit. I knew you had a thing for that man since we were teens! The way you’d walk into walls when he walked into a room was hard to miss.”
“I figured it out after we got the call that he was arrested,” Sasha chimed in. “We were all devastated, but you … you looked like someone just tore out your heart.”
Lavena sighed. “Apparently, I’m the only unobservant one, because I didn’t clue in until like months after. Do you remember when I’d make daily trips to the prison to see him?” At my nod, she continued, “well, during that last visit when Warden Asshole threatened to arrest me, he said,if I see you or that other one, I will arrest you both. This isn’t some yacht club.Of course, I had no idea what he was talking about and asked him to show me this other person, thinking it was that bitch Liya. I was ready to go all manner of crazy on her ass. Instead, I see you. You visited him almost as much as I did. You were the only one besides me. It took me a second, I won’t lie. You didn’t visit my dad when he went in. You didn’t even try, but every week for months? Why? And why wouldn’t you say anything to me about it?”
Guilt curled cold fingers around my throat. “Lavena, I’m so sorry.”
