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That was the only saving grace in our situation I couldfind. At least, Mom got to be stuck in a happy place. Before Dad died. When they were happy and in love. She forgot the accident and all the bad things after it, but she had him. She had her memories and the love they shared.
Mom skims her fingers through my hair like she used to do when I was a little girl. “Don’t waste your time on things that don’t matter, which, as you’ll learn soon enough, are many, and just love him. Embrace every moment you have together like it might be your last. Don’t hold back, Rebecca. Don’t let the fear of losing the people you love stop you from living your life fully. I know everything that has happened with your dad and me made you close off and guard your heart more fiercely, but it’s okay to let people in. It’s okay to let people love you because you’re so lovable.”
“I love you too, Mom. I missed you.”
“I love you too, Bug.”
We stay like that, my head on her shoulder, her hand gently stroking my hair as we sit out in the garden watching the fountain, for I don’t even know how long.
After a while, I wipe away my cheeks and get up, only to see the confusion on Mom’s face.
Once again, she’s gone.
“Gigi, are you okay? Why are you crying?”
I force out a reassuring smile, slipping back into my role. “I’m fine. How about we get you inside? It’s getting late.”
Mom nods. “Yes, I’m feeling tired.”
Slipping my hand under her skinny arm, I help her to her feet and into the house. “Where is Jackson? When will he be home?”
“He’s working late. He’ll be home soon. He said you shouldn’t wait for him.”
“That man.” She shakes her head. “Always working too hard.”
After I help her into her room and say goodbye to the nurses, I get back into my car and drive to Bluebonnet. The facility was situated about an hour away from our small town, just at the halfway point between Bluebonnet and Austin.
Austin, where Miguel lives now.
And here I was, thinking about him again.
Don’t let the fear of losing the people you love stop you from living your life fully.
My fingers curl around the steering wheel.
Was Mom right? Was everybody right? Did I let the fear of losing the people I care about stop me from living fully? From loving them fully?
After high school, Mom started to get worse, and then everybody left. And while sure, I stayed in contact with Emmett and Kate, sometimes we’d go weeks without talking. Then there was Miguel. We put as much effort into staying in contact as we could. But he was so freaking far away, playing football and going to parties while I was home. And thenshehappened. I was already growing insecure by that point, and seeing that girl in his room only messed me up more, so I walked away. Breaking up with him before he could realize I wasn’t worth the effort and he could have any girl he wanted. Before he could break up with me. Before he could hurt me. Before he couldleaveme.
Like my Dad left.
Like Chase left.
Like Mom left.
So I pushed Miguel away first.
I don’t know how I managed to get back to Bluebonnet in one piece, but I did. Only instead of going back home, I go to Reading Nook.Jessica was covering for me, but she had a class to get to, so I needed to be in the café.
My brain is still processing everything as I work.Thankfully, the café is relatively quiet, which works just fine with my mood.
I’m slowly preparing to close for the day when the bell chimes, and Nico enters still wearing his police uniform.
“Hey, stranger.” He flashes me a smile as he moves to the counter.
“Hey, just done with work?”
Nico shakes his head. “I wish. I’m about to go in for the night shift, so I came to get some fuel first.”
