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“Nothing happened,” I say gently. “I just noticed that Lev was a little more standoffish with her than he is with other people. And Polly mentioned a couple of things, too.”
His jaw clenches tight. “It’s gotten a lot better than it used to be,” he admits in a self-conscious rasp. “But right after his coma, he started… he started having panic attacks whenever he looked at her.” Uri strokes his beard stubble reluctantly. “I don’t know why. I still can’t—”
“I know.”
He looks flabbergasted. “You can’t possibly—”
“Her eyes,” I whisper. “She has your mother’s eyes, doesn’t she?”
He pauses and rears back to look at me from a new angle. The furrow between his brows is deep, gathering shadows. “How could you possibly know that?”
“Lev told me. He also told me that after the car fell down the ravine, he was trapped in that seat, staring straight at her. Your mom, sh-she… I think she died with her eyes open.”
He stares unblinkingly at me for a moment. “Fuck,” he breathes as his own eyes water and close. “Fuck.”
“Uri.” Without thinking, I reach out and cup his face with the palm of my hand. I place my other hand on his chest. It’s beating fast, filled with the kind of loss, the kind of pain that I experienced myself once. “I’m sorry.”
“He told you all that?” he asks with his eyes still hooded and low.
“It wasn’t, like, a whole thing. We were just talking. I mentioned my sister; he mentioned that. I didn’t even put it together until I saw Polly today. Her eyes—they were exactly how he described your mother’s eyes.”
He jerks away from me and I drop my hands. “Do you know how long I’ve spent trying to figure this out? Trying to figure out why he… why he…fuck.”
“Well, now, you know.”
He shakes his head in disgust. “I should have known sooner.”
“Will you stop?” I spit angrily. “Blaming yourself doesn’t help those kids. You’ve tried hard and from what I can see, you’ve done a damn good job.”
“You don’t believe that.”
“Actually, I do. Don’t get me wrong: I think you’re a brute and an ass most of the time. But only towards me. To those kids… you’re their hero.” He shakes his head and I step forward. This time, I step into his space. “Don’t take it personally, Uri.”
“I don’t get it,” he says, sounding genuinely baffled. “Why would he open up like that to you and not me?”
“I’m not trying to change him.”
His eyes narrow.Shit.“No, why would you? You’re not here for the long haul. The only thing you want is to leave.”
“Can you blame me?” I cry out, gesturing around me. “Look at where I’ve spent the last few weeks. How am I supposed to want anything else? You won’t come down here to see me; you won’t talk to me. And any time we do talk, you push me away right afterwards.”
“Don’t you fucking—”
“It’s true!”
“What are you saying? If I paid more attention to you, then you’d be happy to stay down here?”
I freeze, feeling the heat of his gaze slide over my face and make my cheeks burn. “No, that’s not what I’m saying.” I gulp, but it’s too late to turn back now. “I’m saying that you’re obviously keeping me here for a reason. And more and more, I believe that reason has nothing to do with protecting me from outside threats.”
He scowls. His lips are maybe a quarter inch from mine. If I move even a hair’s breadth, my face will collide with his…
Which wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
Resist. Resist. Resist.
A shiver runs down my spine before I speak. “You want me.” He doesn’t flinch. “But you’re afraid to want me. This isn’t just about sex and we both know it.”
“No. This is about you not knowing your place.”
