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Guilt pricks at me. Isn’t this exactly what Alyssa had told me yesterday? “Do you like your boarding school?”
She shoos me away from the coffee machine and takes over. “Sure. It’s fine.”
“Define ‘fine.’”
She shrugs. “It has its ups and downs, like anything in life.”
“You know you don’t have to stay there, right? If you wanted to come back home, that can be arranged. I can get you into Scotswood Academy. It’s only a thirty-minute drive from here.”
She gives me a tiny glance. “What brought this on?”
“I was just thinking—”
“Is that code forI spoke to Alyssa?”
My face curdles into an instant grimace. “Not everything is about her.”
“So she’s not the reason you’re in a foul mood this morning?”
“This is how I am every morning.”
“Right. But today is, like, more so.”
I roll my eyes and take the mug of coffee she’s handing me. “How was she last night, by the way?”
“What do you mean?”
Pol walks her own mug over to the kitchen island and perches on the stool again. “Just wondering how she was, which I know you know, since I saw you skulking out of the basement after midnight.” I grimace again and she smirks. “Busted.”
“I was just checking on the security cameras.”
“Oh, I bet you were. Is that what we’re calling it these days?”
“Polina Bugrov.”
“Oh, will you just admit it already? It’s so obvious! You’rein lovewith her.”
I stare at my baby sister. It doesn’t make sense that she looks so old and wise. The words don’t make sense, either.
“Fucking hell, Polly—”
“You wanna know something?” She sips her coffee, winces, and adds in a heaping dose of sugar. “You walk around all big and macho, but when it comes to feelings, you’re the biggest coward I know.”
I clench my teeth. “I am not in love with anyone.”
She sighs as she stirs. “Case in point.”
“She’s just a random girl who got involved with the wrong people,” I say, studiously avoiding eye contact. “She’s no one to me.”
“Is that why you can’t seem to stay away from her?”
“We’re done with this conversation.”
“You’re just proving my point, you know.”
“There are some things that you just don’t understand.”
Her face screws up. “I’m fourteen, not a fucking idiot.”
