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I’m glad she can’t see that my cheeks are probably beet red at this point. “That’s a heavy question.”
Polly shrugs. “Look at where we are. I figure it’s the time for heavy questions.”
She may have a point but I still can’t bring myself to say it out loud. Hell, I can’t even say it to myself. “He’s different than what I expected. I care about him—”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“What I feel for him is… complicated,” I say eventually.
It’s not exactly a lie. But it’s not the truth, either. There’s a part of me that feels hate and anger and resentment towards Uri. I’m frustrated and tired of the constant, nauseating back and forth he inflicts on me.
But in the midst of all those negative emotions is the truth of how I feel.
Which is that Ihateto disappoint him. Ihatethat I’ve let him down by exposing his siblings to danger.
And the only reason I feel that way is because I admire and respect him for the way he takes care of his family. I worry about who’s taking care of him while he’s busy taking care of everyone else. I’m scared that he’s in danger right now and I want more than anything to see him again.
And not just for the child we accidentally made together.
Formyself,too.
But since facing that truth feels too hard, too terrifying, too shocking… I fall back on my coping mechanism and cling to denial.
“Do you think he’ll come for us?” Polly asks in a strained voice that’s close to tears.
“Polly, you and I both know that he will move mountains for you. In the short time I’ve known your brother, I know that to be true. You need to believe that.”
“I-I do…” she says softly. “I’m just scared.”
“I know you are. I am, too. But don’t worry,” I assure her, making up my mind right then and there. “I’m here. I’ll protect you.”
“Why would you do that for me?”
For a moment, I’m stumped. It’s not that I don’t have a reason; it’s that I have so many.
It’s because I couldn’t save my own sister.
It’s because life has given me a chance to try again.
It’s because, this time around… I can’t afford to fail.
I won’t.
64
URI
There are two men in the room with Lev,I signal to Nikolai,two more just outside the room and one in the kitchen.
He nods and starts signing back.You take the two in the front and I’ll—
I shake my head hard.Lev will need to see me first. You take the two in the front.
Nikolai stops short. He considers it for a second and then nods. As much as he may loathe it, he knows when to defer to me. Especially where Lev and Polly are concerned.
I send a message to our men. We have twelve soldiers in total, which means taking down these fuckers will be easy enough. I just need to make sure they’re taken by surprise before they can hurt Lev or use him to barter for their lives.
I catch sight of Stepan and Josef in the distance and I signal to them to come towards me. The rest of the men split and move around to the front of the house with Nikolai. I stay just under the window of the room where they’re holding Lev. One of the enemy men is busy popping something crunchy and noisy into his mouth.
