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“No, but you did just lie to me about his visit.”
She jumps out of bed and squares up with me, all fighting form and indignation. It’s hard to take her seriously in those pajamas, though. Strawberry-and-lemon printed sets don’t exactly strike fear in a man’s heart.
“I’m sorry—I don’t see how you can expect honesty from me when you give me nothing in return!”
“That’s not how this works,narushitel.”
“Of course not, because contrary to the bullshit you’re feeding me, I’m your hostage!” Her eyes flash as she takes an angry step towards me. “And I didn’t tell you about Lev’s visit because he was worried you’d be mad at him. I didn’t want to stir up shit by tattling on him and I certainly wasn’t going to risk upsetting him.”
She’s breathing heavily. Apparently, my presence causes the exact opposite reaction to Lev’s.
Great—first, I was jealous of a purple dildo. Now, I’m jealous of my little brother. Things are going fucking swell.
“You were really good with him.”
My own words take me by surprise. I don’t recant them, though. I’m not usually in the habit of handing out compliments but in this case, Alyssa deserves the credit. She really was incredible with him.
My sincerity must take her off-guard, too, because she stops short, her eyes going wide, her anger deflating. She clears her throat awkwardly and shuffles her weight from one left to the other.
“Well… he’s a kind soul.”
That’s the first kind thing I’ve heard anyone say about him in a while. Lev doesn’t meet new people anymore. I made that decision early on after the accident. Or rather, Lev had made the decision for me. Each of the few instances we did manage to get him out of the estate ended in disaster. Something would happen, Lev would react, and then other people would react to him. They’d point and stare; some would laugh; others would yell.
Strangers can muster up patience and compassion for a child, but Lev is not that in their eyes. He is the grown, unhinged man who snatched a stuffed rabbit toy from a toddler and refused to give it back. He is the hulking brute who started sobbing hysterically because someone popped a balloon ten feet away. He is the scarred, hunched, frightened twenty–two-year-old who starts screaming in fear when a random stranger brushes too close past him.
No one sees the broken child inside that huge, tortured body.
And even if they could…
They wouldn’t understand the first fucking thing about him.
Eventually, I realized that our outings were doing more harm than good. He took days to recover from them and, even after the dust settled, he’d walk a little slower, talk a little quieter—as thoughhewas the one who had something to be ashamed of.
“He’s a kind soul,” I echo gruffly. “Yeah. Not everyone sees that.”
She chews on her bottom lip. “He was really agitated when he first saw me.”
I nod. “He’s not used to people he doesn’t know. And when he has been exposed to them… well, they haven’t been very nice to him.”
Alyssa blinks away sudden tears. “That’s horrible.”
“He doesn’t usually take to anyone as fast as he did with you. Especially when there’s no familiar buffer around to mediate the situation.”
She smiles with just a tint of pride. “We played video games.” Then, as if remembering who she’s talking to, her eyebrows arrow downward. “But I’m sure you already knew that.”
“It was going well. I didn’t want to interrupt.”
She shakes her head. “Such a creep.”
“It’s my job to look after my brother.”
Her eyes pique up with realization as she glances around the upper corners of the basement. “The cameras… You installed them for Lev?”
I nod. “After he has an episode, he doesn’t talk. He recedes into himself and stays down here for days until he’s worked the trauma of the experience out of his system.”
She’s back to chewing on her lip. Her voice, when it comes out, is tentative and wary. “Uri… whathappened?”
I wince. It’s a fair question. But the thing is, I don’t talk about Lev with strangers. The necessary staff and security and Bratva personnel have a dry account of his condition, but it lacks details and emotion. If they have any affection for him at all, it comes from a place of professionalism. He’s a job first, a person second.
