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“And do you still think about it?” She studies me curiously
“You wanna hear something crazy, Red?” I take her by the hips and place her on top of me. “Since you’ve been in town driving me crazy, I haven’t needed to. Not even when I found out about Walker. You’re a pain in my ass, but you keep me from the whip.” I wrap my fingers around her throat and drag her lips closer to mine. “I think you might just be saving me from myself,” I admit.
The growing sense of helplessness cements deeper into my chest when I remind myself why I can’t let her be my savior.
“I gotta be somewhere.” I quickly get out of bed and pull on my jeans.
“What? I thought we could…”
“Go back to the ranch, Red.” I pull on my boots and pick up my shirt from the floor, reaching over the bed and placing a kiss on her cheek before I rush out the door.
“Morning. Is Caroline here?” I ask Fiona when I step into the guest house reception.
“She checked out this morning.” Her answer surprises me. “But she did leave you this.” She turns around and takes an envelope from one of the pigeonholes. “And I’m sure she mentioned something about heading over to the diner for some breakfast before she heads back to Utah. I’m really struggling to cook eggs right now.” She taps her hand proudly over her tummy.
“Sucks, don’t it? Thankfully, I’m past all that now. I just want to eat everything in sight.” I roll my eyes before saying goodbye and rushing over to the diner to try and catch Caroline before she leaves.
I find her sitting in a booth and lazily stirring a spoon around her coffee.
“Leia.” She smiles when she sees me and I don’t know if it’s out of shock or disappointment, but she sure looks nervous.
“Were you just going to leave without saying goodbye?” I hear the hurt in my voice.
“Of course not, that's what the letter was about.” She glances down to the letter I’m still clutching in my hand.
“Caroline, you can’t leave. There’s still hope.”
“Leia, sit down,” she waves her hand to the space opposite her and when I do as she says, she takes both my hands in hers and holds them tight.
“My daughter is dead,” she tells me, trying her best to be strong. “Esme had a wonderful home life. She had friends and family who adored her. If she was alive, she would have found a way home. I was talking to the authorities yesterday and they went through some of the things that could have happened to a girl out hiking on her own. There were so many risks. I’ve just got to accept that I’ve lost her forever.”
“No, you don’t have to accept that at all. Supposing someone has her, they could be…”
“There would have been a ransom, and even if that was the case. Four years is a long time. It’s unlikely that a person would keep a victim for that long.”
“That’s not true. There’s a girl back at the ranch who was kept prisoner in a basement for five years. Mitch and Josie are helping her re-adjust. These things do happen. Maybe that's what happened to Esme? Please don’t give up hope. Please don’t think she’s dead.” I can feel the panic building in my throat. I’m too scared to close my eyes in case I see his face again. I’ve been having the worst dreams about my father lately. I’ve watched him shove Breanna off that cliff, I’ve seen his hands clasped around Aubrey’s throat, and the last few nights I’ve seen him hurt Esme too. I don’t know how, so my imagination makes up a different way each time.
“Leia, I appreciate all you and Savannah have done. It’s the kind of thing Esme would have done.” Caroline smiles fondly. “But sometimes holding on to hope can be what destroys us.” She slides her hands away from mine and goes to stand up, but I tug on her arm and clench it tight.
“My dad.” I blurt the words out because I feel I owe this to her. Caroline frowns at me in confusion and my eyes dart around us to check for anyone listening before I drag her closer.
“My dad killed two girls right here in this town. He was a murderer,” I whisper sharply, watching her eyes widen. She looks quite disturbed as she sinks back into her seat.
“Is he in jail?” she whispers.
“No, he’s dead.” I hate the fact that those words break my heart. I hate the man and everything he did, how can I possibly be sad about the fact he’s dead? “But I need to know that your girl is still alive. I need to be sure he didn’t kill her too, because I can’t stand the guilt I feel for never seeing what he was.”
“Sweetheart.” Caroline’s eyes fill with sympathetic tears. “How would you ever have known?”
“Because we were close. Me and him understood each other, at least I thought we did. I loved him, and I felt the love he had for me too.”
“My dear girl, you can’t carry that guilt with you anymore. You're about to become a mother, and take it from someone who knows, that is the greatest gift in the world. Don’t let what happened in your past overshadow all the beautiful times you have ahead of you. Your father did not kill my daughter. Even if he did, you wouldn’t be to blame. Leia, if the man’s dead he can’t hurt anybody else.” She manages another brave smile for me.
I close my eyes and nod my head because I know she’s right.
“Now, you have my number and I’d very much like a picture of that beautiful baby when it’s born. Treasure every second, Leia.” She kisses my cheek before standing up and I rush to my feet, wrapping my arms around her. “Esme was so lucky to have you,” I whisper, thinking of my own mother and how cold-hearted she is
“I was the lucky one.” Caroline smiles fondly.
