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“When did that happen, Cole? When you let someone murder your little sister?” she snaps back at me, her words diggin’ in like a red-hot poker and stirring at my insides.
“Maybe. It was the point where I stopped caring.”
“Cole.” She tries to turn her head again but I push the gun deeper against her skull.
“Keep lookin’ forward,” I hiss from my teeth. “Now, you don’t deserve kindness, but I’m gonna give you this one. I’m gonna let that beautiful view with the stars above it be the last thing you see instead of the monster you made.” I swipe my free hand under my nose.
“Please don’t, Cole. I’ll leave. I’ll never come back.” She’s sobbing now, but I don’t believe a word she says.
“You went too far. You killed my brother and took that baby girl.”
“Dalton wasn’t your brother, he was your father’s Bastard,” she spits out like she’s forgotten I’m the one holding the gun.
“You're wrong. Dalton was family, more family than you ever were.”
I feel the gun start to shake in my hand, the same way it did in Garrett’s.
“You won’t do it, Cole.” She must feel it clattering against her skull.
“Wrong again.” My hand turns steady when I remind myself why I’m doin’ this. “I may not be the uncle those babies will ever aspire to be, and I may not ever be the one they come to for affection, but Iwillbe the uncle that keeps them safe…” I lean over her shoulder, “whatever it takes,” I whisper inside her ear, hearing her last fearful breath before I step back and pull the trigger.
The sharp blow echoes through the night sky and unsettles a few birds from the woods behind me. When Mom’s body drops to the floor, I clutch the gun in my hand and let the tears roll over my cheeks. I take a few more steps back before my legs weaken and I drop to my ass, sitting in the wet morning dew as the sun starts coming up from behind the ridge… just like the start of every other day before it.
I sit in a trance, the cold breeze swirling around me as I stare at her body, and the blood that seeps from the neat, little bullet hole I put in the back of her head. Blood that stains the grass, my hands, and sticks to my face.
I don’t know where to go from here. Or how I tell my brothers. How do I look that beautiful girl who told me she’s in love with me in the eyes when I know that my soul is empty?
“It’s okay, son.” I jump when I feel a hand squeeze my shoulder, and when I look up over it and see Mitch, I wonder how the fuck he managed to sneak up on me. Especially with his horse.
“It’s okay,” he repeats when I grip his hand and squeeze it tight. I’ve never felt as weak as I do now.
“I couldn’t have her out there, I couldn't risk her ever coming back,” I try to explain as fresh tears fill my eyes.
“I know that, son, I’da put a bullet in the bitch’s head myself if given the chance.” He stares at her body with me.
“They can’t find out, Wade or Garrett. They won’t look—”
“You get yaself on home for breakfast. Let me take care of this.” Mitch raises me onto my feet.
“I can’t. I can’t face ‘em.” I shake my head at him. “They won’t understand, Mitch.”
“Go home, Cole,” he tells me, gripping my shoulders and searching my eyes for some focus.
“Bury her somewhere where she can see the Ridge,” I tell him, not even attempting to hide my tears anymore. “I got one good memory of her. Just one.” I look down at her lifeless body. “I’d woken up in the middle of the night when I was about five or six. I was scared and must have been screamin’. She came to me and opened my curtains. Then she laid out beside me on my bed and told me to count the stars above the ridge. She stayed there stroking my hair until I fell back to sleep.” I laugh to myself sadly. “I doubt she’d have remembered that, but I never forgot it. There was a time when she was good, Mitch, it was a long time ago but therewasa time.” I pick my hat up off the floor, placing it back on my head.
“There was a time when we were all good.”
I look at her one last time before I turn my back and walk away.
Isee him coming toward the line camp where I’ve been waiting for him for over an hour. He’s got his head hung low and walks sadly. I stand up as he gets closer and wonder where he’s been when I see all the blood on his jacket.
“What happened? That’s not Dalton’s blood,” I point out when I see it on his face as well. He ignores me, heading around the side of the house where there’s a rain store. Then splashing water over his face, he attempts to clean off his hands.
“Yearling was trapped in some barbwire, I had to get it untangled.” He stares at the water as he scrubs his hands and pats down his face again.
“What are you doin’ out here? The sun’s barely up,” he asks, sounding detached and cold.
“I came to check on you. I wanted to come last night but Wade said I shouldn’t. I…” He snatches my hand away when I reach out to touch his face.
