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It was tradition for families to bring special ornaments to hang on the tree. These ornaments bore the dates of Christmases up until this year. Some folks had twenty or more ornaments, depending on how many years they’d participated in the tradition. It was a sentimental time and brought back memories of times past and loved ones who were no longer with us. It was a celebration of community and continuity.
With Daddy’s help, I loaded his truck with collapsible tables to serve free hot cocoa, cider, baked goods, and candy canes. The Cordial Diner’s logo hung on a banner in front of the table. It was a community service but also ingratiated neighbors and customers alike.
Several other local businesses set up tables alongside ours to sell or give away samples of their products. The pet hospital gave out dog treats on our left, and on the right, Miss Dottie from Dottie’s Chocolates handed out delicious samples. Gifts and Bits displayed their holiday cinnamon, vanilla, and Pine candles for purchase two tables over.
As I carefully poured steaming hot cocoa and topped it with tiny marshmallows, I noticed Milton heading my way. I sighed, hoping to avoid his inevitable invitation for our next date. So far, I’d not seen Seth, which was a relief after our earlier conversation.
“Hi, Kayla. Wow, that looks great. It’s gotten cold, hasn’t it?” Milton rubbed his hands together.
The weather was always a safe topic. “Yes, they are calling for snow tomorrow night.” I’d worn a fuzzy white beanie with my down coat and favorite red wool scarf. I had my gloves in my coat pocket, just in case.
“May I?” he gestured toward one of the cups.
“Of course. Help yourself.” I offered him a candy cane, which he took and used to stir his cocoa, and then hung it on the inside of his cup.
“Hmm. This is so good,” Milton said, sipping the steaming liquid.
Our small talk was comfortable and familiar, so I relaxed and enjoyed the moment. “Is your mom coming tonight?” His mom, Betty, hadn’t been in great health lately.
“Not tonight. She’s got a little cold, and we decided not to risk it.”
“Too bad. Please give her my best, won’t you?”
He smiled. “Thanks, I will.”
A group of tweens approached and scooped up brownies and hot cocoa, distracting me from Milton, who continued to stand nearby. I filled more cups, and when I looked up, I saw Seth heading my way carrying a small box with a green ribbon on top.
He greeted Milton first and then turned to me. “I brought you something.”
“Oh, um, thanks.” He held out the box, so I took it. “What is it?” Getting gifts from Seth made me uncomfortable, especially in the middle of the town square. The gossip would likely start about Seth and me faster than a duck on a June bug. I noticed Milton step away from us and head toward the tree.
“Something I meant to give you the Christmas after I left town.” I couldn’t tell anything from his expression, but I was curious.
Untying the bow, I lifted the lid. It was a silver ornament, slightly dulled with time, engraved with a heart and both of our initials and the date:Christmas 2013. “I’d intended to give this to you the Christmas after I started college, but I’d had to go to my parents for the holidays that year because my dad had surgery.”
I stared at the ornament, absorbing its meaning. It symbolized our being together for the holidays, which we hadn’t been. “Why are you giving this to me now?” I couldn’t tell if the tears forming in my eyes were from the cold blast of wind or the punch of emotion Seth’s gift sent into my gut.
“Remember, I came in after New Year's for a couple of days on my way back to school, but you were upset that I’d missed Christmas?”
Upset?I remembered being an emotional wreck because my mom wasn’t responding to chemo, and the doctors had decided to place her in hospice care. And I remembered Seth not being there for me. “I don’t remember your dad having surgery that year.”
“It wasn’t life-threatening, but my mom insisted on my being there. I didn’t tell you because you had so much going on then, and I didn’t give you the ornament in January because I thought it would only remind you that I hadn’t come to the tree lighting.”
“It was never about the tree lighting, just so you know. I wasupsetbecause my life was melting down, and you weren’t there. We’d made promises to each other, and you skipped out on them.” I could feel myself shaking with anger. Angry that he’d been so obtuse about my emotions and angry that he was back here now, stirring up old feelings I’d dealt with long ago.
Daddy had approached and was now handling the pouring and greeting. I stepped away, and Seth followed. “I know. I’ve had ten years to think about my shortcomings where you were concerned. I don’t always say the right things at the right time, but I do understand that I completely misinterpreted how hard and awful things were for you and your family. I’d been away from your day-to-day struggles during that time.”
“I appreciate that you thought about me enough to bring this along when you came here, but it’s completely insignificant now.” His honest explanation soothed my angst, but he was still being obtuse. How did any of this help us now?
“You’ve never been insignificant to me, even if it seemed that way.” It was obvious that he was sincere.
I almost leaned into him; I really almost did. But my heart needed protection at this moment, and if I became weak, it would allow Seth to hurt me again. I couldn’t allow it.
“Thank you for the ornament, Seth.” My tone announced that I was done with this conversation, and I stepped behind the table to resume my duties.
Seth stared at me for a long moment, then turned and walked away. Just as the countdown ended, and the Christmas season began with thousands of colored lights illuminating the enormous tree. The joy of the event evaporated the moment he’d left.
ChapterEight
