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This gives me a thought. “Hey, Dante, do you have a nickname that starts with an A?”
“A nickname. My goodness, no.” He says this like I asked if he has lice. I cross him off the list. I guess he’s not Eleanor’s secret A.
Our practice is going peachy… until it’s time for Sawyer and I to dance together.
That’s when everything falls apart. As we stumble and move out of time, Françoise darts ahead of us, showing us how to walk on our toes. And after a few failed twirls, I start to wonder how he and I are going to get out of this thing alive.
Especially because when we mess up, Françoise says, “Again,” each time with more frustration and vigor than the last.
She must say it another million times, or it feels that way, and I’m exhausted, thirsty, and dead sick of Sawyer and his three feet.
After I stumble for the umpteenth time, he says, “You know, Dawson, I don’t want to be here any more than you do, but you gotta try.”
“Iamtrying. Why don’t you learn where to put your big fat feet so I don’t trip over them?”
We lock fiery gazes, and Sawyer seems more than happy to stare me down. But right now, I hate looking into his eyes because he’s gazing at me with such intensity, I want to envelop him into a hug and never let go.
Sawyer and I have been in plenty of stare-downs before, but whatever’s happening right now is different. As we look into each other’s eyes, my stomach twists into a wicked knot. I yearn to sit with him and talk, all night long, laughing at ridiculous things and talking about our dreams.
Eleanor and I used to do that, which now, looking back, is painful because Eleanor would never get to realize any of those dreams. Traveling abroad. Spending a year hiking through Argentina. Going to Australia just to see the koalas.
“Hey, you with me?” Sawyer’s voice is Charmin toilet paper soft, and I realize my eyes have misted over.
“Yeah, just got a bit dizzy,” I croak out, separating myself from his arms. “Plus, you’re annoying the crap out of me.” I laugh, trying to play off my weirdness.
“Yeah, I’m a little dizzy too,” he whispers.
I blink. What wasthat?
His finger touches my chin, and I tilt my head to meet his eyes again. They are glazed when he says, “Let’s do this, okay? For her.”
I manage a nod.
He shakes his head, smiling when he says, “Now if you’ll just follow my lead, then maybe we’ll get somewhere.”
His playfulness spurs me to focus. I grab his arms and step into position before saying, “If you want me to follow your lead, then be a leader.” I smirk. I won’t let Sawyer see how his words affect me. And if I’m being real with myself, how his words have always affected me. Because if he does, I only stand to get hurt, and worse than the time he crushed me. I steel myself and say, “Okay. For Eleanor.”
“There we go. Now—let’s start from the top.”
We go back into our sequence, and although it’s nothing special, we’re making progress. We stay long after the other dancers have left, and when we’re finally ready to go home for dinner, I’m famished, but feeling good. We’ve accomplishedsomething, and we’ll only get better as the days go on. I’m sure that we manage something presentable by showtime.
Françoise has an ear-to-ear smile when she says, “Sawyer, can you stay behind? I want to go over a few more moves with you.” She shrugs. “Then I’ll give you the code to unlock Eleanor’s first padlock.”
Firstpadlock? Sawyer and I share a knowing glance—leave it to Eleanor to go big or go home.
“Sure.” Sawyer sounds just a little too enthusiastic, but his voice is softer when he turns to me and says, “But Dawson, can you make it home okay—”
“Your parent’s house is a three-minute walk away, Sawyer.” I hitch a thumb backward. “I did it a million and one times growing up, and it’s still light out.”
“I’ll give you a ride home,” Dante cuts in, grabbing his duffel bag. “I’m headed that way.”
“Thank you so much, Dante.” I give him a polite smile, but it’s all for show. My heart’s not in it.
“Oh, okay,” Sawyer says hesitantly. “I’ll see you at home later, Dawson.”
For the holidays, Sawyer is staying at his parent’s house, even though he’s got an apartment downtown. It was part of Eleanor’s instructions to him, so Iwillsee him there… if he comes home tonight. “Bye.”
When Dante and I reach the parking lot, I turn and give him a genuine smile. “Thank you again for the offer, Dante, but I’d really prefer to walk. The air is so crisp right now, and I’d like to clear my head. It’s only a few minutes away, in the Lakeside Homes.” I point ahead.
