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“Oh, no. No, no, no.” Sawyer looks like he’s going to be sick, but I don’t care.
I’m too angry, and I keep on. “You know, I wasn’t just another one of your ‘flavor du jours’ you could toss aside.”
His face goes beet red as his jaw twitching in frustration. “No. You don’t understand, Dawson. I was on my way, and I even had flowers. I couldn’t wait to spend the evening with you. Then your dad called and told me not to come—he said that you didn’t want me there.”
I shake my head, confused. “What? Of course I wanted you there! I wouldn’t have done that to you.”
“It didn’t seem like you, but I knew the ball required you to have an escort. Which meant you must’ve found a real date—better than me, the backup guy. Anyway, what choice did I have? It’s not like I could go against your dad’s wishes.”
Something sharp pierces my stomach, and my mind spins, the gears not quite catching as I fumble to figure out exactly what Sawyer’s saying. When I’m finally able to verbalize it, I croak, “My dad’s future campaign manager’s son stepped up for me when you didn’t show.”
Sawyer cocks his head. “So, maybe your dad used that moment to get what he wanted for his career?”
“No,” I say automatically. “Maybe.”
“Hasn’t he always done that, Dawson?” Sawyer’s tone turns gentle.
I groan. “Yes.” I hate that he’s right.
Emotions race through me so fast I can’t figure out what I’m feeling. Betrayed by my parents? Grateful that it wasn’t Sawyer’s fault? Furious? All of the above? “I can’t believe you didn’t say anything.”
“Say what?” Sawyer’s eyebrows furrow. “Something to make you feel like crap about changing your mind? If you had a real date, I had to step aside. I didn’t like it but accepted it.”
“Oh.” I don’t know what to say. He didn’t know my dad lied to him. What was he supposed to do? When I’ve had a chance to sort through my feelings, I finally say, “You’re right. You did the best thing you could’ve given the information you had. I just can’t believe you didn’t think better of me.”
“I made assumptions. I’m sorry, Dawson.”
Tears prickle the back of my eyes, but I refuse to let any fall. “Don’t be sorry. I can’t believe I’ve spent so many years being angry—thinking that you either ran off with someone else or you forgot.”
“Forgot? No way. It was all I could think about.Youwere all I could think about.”
His words make my heart gallop in my chest, and I look at him, and he’s so beautiful in the moonlight with his sparkling eyes and dark, shiny hair. “So, that’s why you pushed me away after that. You thought I didn’t want you?”
“Well, yeah. If something went down between you and me, my sister would’ve ended up in the middle. Boyfriends come and go, but you and Eleanor’s kind of friendship lasts a lifetime.” At his last words, his eyes splinter, and his tone goes hoarse when he says, “Well, they’re supposed to last a lifetime.”
“My friendship with Eleanor is forever, Sawyer. Don’t worry about that. She helped shape who I am, and she’s a part of me. But I am eternally grateful that you made sure that nothing ever went sideways between us.”
He nods. “Right. And this was right after college, when your friendship was vulnerable with so many big changes. I’d never want Eleanor to have to choose between you or me—that’s an impossible position. So, I never told anyone.”
I put a hand over my mouth, my brain still fighting to catch up to all the information that keeps coming at me. When I’ve finally processed what Sawyer did and why he did it, I say, “You are the most thoughtful person I’ve ever known.” My lips curve wistfully. “Well, besides your sister, and I can’t believe all these years, I didn’t know it.”
“I wasn’t always so thoughtful. I had my moments, and I definitely wasn’t the person I wanted to be. But I’m getting there.” His lips quirk up. “More every day.”
I feel a lightness I haven’t felt in a long time, some of the weight from the past year lifting. “I guess the silver lining of losing our rock is that it forced us to take a good hard look at ourselves and our life decisions.”
“For sure.”
I touch his chin and lift it to meet my eyes as I lean into him. “I like the Sawyer I see now.”
“That means a lot. It means everything, actually.” He flashes me that glowing smile of his before nodding toward the tree. “And related to that, I have something Ireallywant you to see.”
I’m floating when I say, “I do too. And me first.”
* * *
We’re in front of the courthouse, and the chill is seeping into my bones, but my heart is warm.
I wring my hands. “So, before we do this, you should know that I got fired tonight.”
