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The panic is still there, and I’m terrified of what it means to really let go with him. I’ve seen it one too many times—the shell a woman becomes when she falls and the other person doesn’t catch her. But this is Chase.
If there’s any person I can trust to catch me, it’s him.
Ithasto be him.
I don’t think there’s anyone else out there for me.
“What’s got you thinking so hard?” he asks, rolling off me and tugging me onto my side so we’re face to face.
I tip my shoulder up. “I was just thinking about what happened the last time I woke up in your bed.”
“You mean when you ran away?” He chuckles and reaches up to cup my jaw. His thumb grazes over my cheeks, leaving a trail of heat in its wake. He steals a kiss, and I thread my fingers through his hair, holding him against me for a moment longer than necessary. “You’re not gonna do that again, are you? I’m happy to keep chasing you, but I need at least an hour or two to wake up. Maybe let me fuck you once more before you make me put my running shoes on.”
“I think once can be arranged.” I smile, sighing happily. “Maybe twice, if you’re lucky.”
“Oh, I’m definitely lucky…”
I squeal as he manoeuvres his arms beneath me, tugging me into a roll until I’m sprawled on top of him. My fingers dance over his hard chest, circling his nipples before I drag my nails over his stomach, only ending at the waistband of his black boxers. “How do you feel about reverse cowgirl?” I ask him, tugging my bottom lip between my teeth as he moans loudly, thrusting a hand into my hair and pulling me down to slam his mouth to mine.
I’ll take that as a yes.
The notes on my screen blur, and I scrub my hands over my eyes, blow out a slow breath, then grab my mug and drink the now cold peppermint tea with a grimace.
I’m bone-tired. My muscles scream at me every time I move, and my head thumps steadily, promising a wild headache if I don’t force myself to shut this laptop and crawl into bed to catch up on some shuteye soon.
Turns out, losing sleep at nearly thirty is hell on your body.
But so fucking worth it.
“What’s got you all happy this morning?” Bailey grumbles as she shuffles into the kitchen. Her hair is a mess of tangles thrown up in a butterfly clip, and last night’s makeup still sits heavily on her skin, giving her a bad case of panda eyes. Wearing a ratty old dressing gown over her fluffy pyjamas, she grimaces as the coffee maker comes to life.
“Nothing, just work,” I say, the lie bitter on my tongue. I’ve never lied to Bailey before. Unless you countIt’s a Wonderful Life, which, honestly, that lie is for her own good.
And Chase, of course.
But I wasn’t lying when I said I want to know what this is before I bring the rest of the world into whatever we’re creating between us. It feels fragile.Special.And I’m not ready to share that. However, it doesn’t make keeping it a secret from my best friend any easier.
“I can’t believe you’re working over Christmas,” she says, waving an empty mug in front of my face.
I nod, answering her silent offer of a cup of coffee before dipping my gaze back to the laptop. “Yeah, well, some of us can’t afford a whole month off work. We’re not all that lucky.” I type out a few notes for the singer I’m currently working with to look over, then close my laptop and slide it to the centre of the island. “How’s your head this morning?”
“It feels like someone is taking a hammer to my temples. I could actually cry. I’m not sure a hangover has ever felt this bad before.”
“They do say when you cross over into your thirties, everything feels worse.”
She groans as she grabs the two mugs of steaming coffee and moves to the stool beside me before handing me one. I blow on the rim, inhaling the bitter aroma as it seeps into the air. “Don’t remind me. Thirty is scary as fuck; I’m not sure I’m ready for it.”
“I don’t think you have much of a choice,” I remind her. “You’re already there, babe.”
“Maybe I can just stay twenty-nine forever.”
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s how it works. Unless you have a time machine ready for Tuesday?” I tease, though my lips twist into a frown at the forlorn expression on her face as she shakes her head. “Hey, what’s going on?”
She sighs, pulls her mug to her mouth, and swallows generously before she finds my gaze. “I don’t know. I guess it’s just hitting me that I don’t have my life all figured out yet. Mum and Dad were married at my age, settled into their careers, and already had two kids. Eli was engaged and in the process of starting his own company. Chase bought the shop at twenty-eight. And then there’s me, floating around, without a clue where I’m going.”
“Oh, Bails. I don’t think we’re meant to have it all figured out.” I scoot off my stool, wrap my arms around her, and hug her tight to my chest. “We’re still young, you know? Just because some people knew what they wanted at our age doesn’t mean we have to. Can I let you in on a secret?”
She nods, and I pull back, holding my hands to her shoulders as I lock my eyes on hers. “I hate living in London.” Her eyes widen, and her mouth pops open for a beat before she barks a laugh at my revelation. “Like,reallyhate it.”
