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I take a deep breath, trying to gather my bearings. As much as I don’t want to deal with this, I also know I can’t ignore the fact that he’s here, and like it or not, I’m going to have to. And perhaps it is better that we have this conversation somewhere other than my place of employment.
“Micha.” I glance behind me at the girl who tries to act uninterested, but I know is watching and dissecting our every move. “I’m going to take my lunch break now. Call my cell if anyone needs me.”
“Okay.” She gives me a smile that puts me in the mind of a cat who’s just caught a mouse between her teeth. “You two have fun.”
Resisting the urge to roll my eyes, I turn back to Blake.
“Let’s take a walk.” I step past him, quickly exiting onto the sidewalk without turning to see if he’s following me.
I swear it feels like my heart has beaten a new cavity inside my chest by the time I reach my car across the street, figuring that will at least give us a semblance of privacy. I don’t know what I’m going to say or how I’m going to say it in a way that he will actually listen, but one way or the other, heisgoing to listen to me. He has to.
I told him months ago that we were done. And while yes, he insisted I wasn’t serious and that I just needed some time, I never dreamed he’d just show up here like this. Clearly, he didn’t think I meant it last time. This time I’ll make sure he does.
“Someone’s in a hurry,” he observes.
“Get in,” I tell him, quickly unlocking the doors before tugging the driver’s side open and climbing inside.
Without a word, he crosses around the car.
The instant his door closes, sealing us both inside, the space becomes too small, his familiar scent stinging the back of my throat as I briefly wonder if I’ve always hated his cologne or if I’m just now realizing that I do. Despite the cold temperatures outside, I crack a window because I’m fairly certain, if I don’t, the smell might choke me to death.
“Why are you here?” I shift toward him. There’s no anger in my voice. Frustration maybe, but not anger. I know Blake well enough to know he’ll feed off that.
“What do you mean, why am I here? I thought that much was obvious.” He tries to act innocent, his façade firmly in place, but I know him well enough to know there isn’t anything innocent about him or his sudden appearance here.
It’s one of the things I once found so attractive about him, but now, can’t for the life of me figure out why. What did I see in someone as cold and calculating as Blake when there are people like Remi in the world? Someone who lights up a room just by walking into it. Someone whose smile can lighten even the worst of moods. Someone who makes me feel cherished in a way that Blake never did.
“We aren’t together anymore, Blake. You know that, right? I ended things between us months ago,” I needlessly say because, of course, he already knows all of this.
“You were upset. You needed time. I gave you that time. Now, it’s time to come home, where you belong.” He reaches for my hand, but I’m quick to pull it away before he can take it.
I don’t mean to be cold-hearted, but I know his game. He thinks he can force me to do what he wants like he used to. But I’m not the same woman I was when we were together. In fact, I’m so far removed from that woman that it doesn’t even feel like she was me. Like this version of myself, the one where I actually thought I could marry Blake and be happy, existed in an alternate reality altogether.
“This is my home,” I repeat more forcefully than the first time I said it.
“We’ve been together over five years...”
“Weweretogether... As in past tense,” I quickly correct. “We haven’t been together in months.”
“Fine. Weweretogether for over five years,” he lashes, his temper flaring. “Is it so wrong that I don’t want to just let those five years go?”
“You shouldn’t have come here.”
“I miss you.” Nothing has sounded more disingenuous in my life.
“Blake...”
“Just let me say this, okay? I miss you, Kaia. I miss waking up with you in the morning. I miss watching you dance around the kitchen as you made breakfast. I miss...” His eyes momentarily drift to my body. “Other things.” He clears his throat. “I walk around the house and it’s just so empty. Everything feels empty without you.”
I know better than anyone when he’s trying to lay something on thick, and right now, he’s trying to bury me in it. What’s worse, once upon a time, I might have believed him.
I don’t anymore.
It’s funny what kind of clarity a person can get with a little time and distance.
“It’s been months, Blake. If you missed me so much, you would have come after me the instant I left. So now tell me, why are youreallyhere?”
“I just told you.” He reaches for my hand a second time, but again, I pull it away. “Why are you being like this?”
