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“There has to be a reasonable explanation.”
“A reasonable explanation as to why she was kissing another man?” I bark.
“One, please quiet down. The kids are napping and I don’t want to wake them. Two, I get that seeing that was probably horrible, but did she give you any type of explanation?”
“You think I was going to hang around and listen to her lie to my face like I didn’t just see what I saw?”
“Remi.” She gives me a look I know all too well. One that says what an idiot she thinks I am. I’ve seen it countless times over the course of our friendship.
“Don’t look at me like that, Pen. You didn’t see what I saw. Besides, you’re supposed to be on my side here.” I start pacing because if I don’t, I might put my fist through a fucking wall.
“I am on your side.”
I tense when her hand touches my forearm.
“Always.” She gives it a reassuring squeeze. “All I was going to say was it might not have been a bad idea to let her explain. You know better than most what things can look like. You and Olivia.” She needlessly reminds me.
“That’s different. I didn’t have my tongue down her throat.”
“Doesn’t mean it didn’t look worse than it was. Maybe this is something similar. Maybe it looked a lot worse than it really was.”
“Somehow, I doubt that. I know when I’m being made an ass of. You and Sutton taught me that lesson the hard way.”
She flinches a second time at my words and this seems to snap me out of my anger-fueled rant.
“Fuck, Pen. I’m sorry.” I scrub a hand down my face.
“Don’t apologize. I know we hurt you.”
“That was a long time ago. It’s not fair for me to take my shit out on you because of it. I’m just... I’m so fucking tired of always playing second best to another man.”
“I obviously don’t know what happened or the reasoning behind it, but I do know that Kaia is crazy about you. The way her entire face lights up every time you walk into a room. Hell, even the mention of your name brings a smile to her face. I find it hard to believe she is engaged to another man and hiding it from everyone.”
“Sometimes people turn out not to be who you thought they were.” I shrug, my chest burning like someone just took hot blades and sliced across it a hundred times.
The feeling is all too familiar, only this time, instead of the world flipping upside down, it feels more like the ground beneath me is going to swallow me whole and trap me in perpetual darkness for the rest of my existence.
“And sometimes there’s more to the story and you need to be understanding enough to hear it.”
“What excuse could she possibly have? Huh?” I run my hands through my hair, tugging at the ends so hard that I can feel several strands snap.
“I don’t know,” she quietly admits. “But I do know you need to find out.”
“I’m not going to be the one chasing a fantasy. I’ve been down that road before, and it doesn’t end well for me.”
“Since when is wanting to be happy a fantasy?”
“You don’t get it,” I grumble.
“Don’t I? You think because I hurt you that I don’t understand what it’s like to be hurt? To feel like everything you wanted just slipped through your fingers? Because I understand that feeling all too well. You should know that better than anyone. So don’t give me this bullshit about chasing a fantasy. Some things are just worth fighting for; your pride be damned.” She jabs a finger into my chest.
“This has nothing to do with pride,” I disagree.
“This has everything to do with your pride. You feel like you came out looking weak where your brother and I were concerned, and you don’t ever want to feel that way again. I get it. But, Rem, you can’t let our mistakes become your own. You can’t just walk away from the first woman you’ve truly cared about because you’re too scared to hear what she might say. Maybe it’s true. Maybe she has been playing us this whole time. Or maybe there’s a hell of a lot more to the story and you need to let her explain. Because I know you, Rem. If you don’t, you’ll never forgive yourself when you realize it’s too late.”
“And what if it’s all true? What if it was exactly what it looked like, huh? What then?”
“Then at least you know. Isn’t that better than wondering what if?”
