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I give him a toothy grin that I hope conveys just how insane I am.
“We call him Rage for a reason,” Hawk says, leaning back against the wall by the door. “You owe us money, Stefan. Why are you avoiding paying it?”
Stefan’s eyes dart around the room, as if he’s looking for a weapon or a way out. He’ll find neither.
“I’m not—”
I hit him again, this time spraying blood from his mouth as I connect. He falls like I’ve taken a two-by-four to his head. That red film that controls me seeps into my bones and I want to lose my shit, but Skye’s image flashes in my vision and all that anger, all that rage, is doused in an instant. I can’t be who I was. I beat this guy to death then I lose the respect of Howler, of my brothers. Dead men can’t pay, and we need these contracts to keep making money for the club. I need them too. In seven months’ time, I’ll have a kid to take care of.
I stagger back from him, forcing calm into my muscles. What the fuck is happening to me? I would never have had these thoughts before Skye. I wouldn’t give two fucks who it upset, I would’ve had my fun with this cunt.
My heart is racing as I stare at the man in front of me, ignoring his wails. I don’t dare look at Hawk. I don’t need to see the weight of his judgement right now.
“Call your bulldog off, Hawk. I’ll get you the money.” Blood coats under his nose and his lips. There are bright red drops on his shirt collar too, a stark contrast to the bright white of the material.
An image of Skye with a big belly lying on the ground fills my mind. She’s bleeding, blood pooled around her, and the terror that chokes me is so real, I nearly gasp out as I shutter my eyes to make it disappear.
“Any more games and I’ll let Rage loose on you.” Hawk’s words are almost lost in the haze engulfing me.
I need to get out of here. I need air. Everything feels too close, too stuffy.
I leave him to collect the money as I stumble out the club and onto the street. Bent over double, I try to breathe through the encroaching panic.
A hand presses onto my back and I flinch, ready to swing, until I hear Hawk’s voice.
“You are a shitty fuckin’ liar,” he mutters. “You’re fine? Bullshit.”
I don’t say anything because what the fuck can I say to that? I’m not fine, and truthfully, I don’t know if I’ll ever be fine again. My life is once again out of control, and I don’t know how to stabilise it.
He waits with me as I regain my composure, and only then do I get into the van. Hawk drives, though he glances at me periodically, checking I’m okay, but I’m not.
I’m spiralling.
I had control. I was learning to keep my calm, until she came. Now, I don’t know if I can keep my rage under wraps or if it will explode without warning.
Skye calmed me, but in that room, with Hawk, I didn’t know what way I was going to go, and that fucking scares me. I don’t want to go back to the Rage I was. I can’t do that and have Skye and this baby in my life.
Neither of us speaks as we head back to the clubhouse. When Hawk stops the van in a space out the front of the building, I get out before he can say anything and head inside. I don’t know why, but the need to see Skye is suddenly overwhelming. It’s been too long, too much, and I need her right now.
I blow past the common room, heading down the corridor to the room where Skye is being kept. If Hawk calls after me, I don’t hear him.
Before I can consider my actions, I drag the bolt back and shove the door open. Skye is lying on the floor, and she sits up quickly as I enter. I don’t know what my face shows, but her eyes turn wary as she scrambles to stand up.
“What’s wrong?”
I don’t know how to answer that. All I can focus on is the intensity of the feeling swirling through me as I close the space between us. I should walk away. I should beg Howler to let her go and get as far away from here as she can, but I can’t.
I won’t give her up.
I won’t let her be out there alone, risking capture by her father.
Skye backs away until her spine hits the wall. I should stop. I need to because the fear in her face disgusts me. I’m terrifying her, and I don’t want to be that kind of man, but I’m not in control of myself anymore.
Trapping her between the wall and my body, I let my gaze roam over her face. Fuck, she’s beautiful, more so than she has a right to be. My cock remembers how it felt to be sheathed inside her, and I want to repeat it.
I grab her face, and without invitation, I slam my mouth against hers.
CHAPTER7
