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I frown at him, shoving the towel back onto the ring. That was the last thing I expected him to say. “Well, you don’t need to be. I’m fine.”
Pushing around him, I walk along the dimly lit corridor of the clubhouse. It’s quiet, barely any noise coming from within the bowels of the building despite the late hour. This place doesn’t sleep, but there has been a sombre mood shrouding the club for the past week. The news that Richardson is searching for his daughter has everyone on edge, especially me. We’re just waiting for the inevitable attack to come, despite Howler’s assurances he doesn’t know she’s here.
“Rage, hold up.”
Hawk rushes after me, his long stride eating up the space I’ve managed to create. I feel twitchy, my skin prickling as if there are a hundred ants walking over me.
I don’t want to talk, but he’s not going to let this go, so I stop and wait for him to come around the front of me.
“I’m tired, Hawk.” It’s a lie. I’m more wired than I’ve ever been. My blood pumps so furiously through my body, I can hear it thumping in my ears. There’s a growing need to release the mounting pressure within me, but the way I usually do that ain’t gonna work.
Hawk scrubs a hand over his face. “I can’t even believe I’m gonna say this, but you weren’t your usual psychotic self tonight. Are you okay?”
Sensing a change in myself is one thing, but my brothers noticing it too ain’t good. I thought I’d locked my shit down tighter than that. “I was in control. Weren’t you the one telling me I needed to do that?”
“You were controlled before…” He breaks off what he was going to say, but he doesn’t need to finish his sentence. I know the name that was about to spill from his mouth.
Before Skye.
I can’t even be pissed at him for saying it because it’s true. She consumes my every waking thought, more so in the past week since I’ve been guarding her out of the room. Every hour we spend together makes my need for her grow stronger.
Now, with the adrenaline pumping through me, I’m itching to go to her. It’s an all-consuming need that I’ve never experienced before.
I don’t know what fucking spell she’s put on me, but I’ve never cared about another person in my entire fucking life. Honestly, it scares the shit out of me the hold she’s starting to have on me.
I should create distance, put a stop to whatever is blossoming between us, but those little smiles she gives me when we talk are hard to ignore. I’m fuckin’ falling for her, and I don’t know how to soothe this ache within me without crossing lines that would change everything for us.
“I’m still controlled,” I fire back at Hawk.
“Ain’t the same and you know it.”
I grit my teeth, wishing he’d go the fuck away. Skye is just a few metres from where we’re standing, and as if I’m tethered to her by an imaginary rope, I feel myself being tugged in that direction.
“If you’re worried about my ability to do my job, take it up with Howler.”
I step around him, but Hawk grabs my arm, pulling me back. “I don’t give a fuck about your damn job, Rage. I’m worried aboutyou.”
That’s enough to momentarily break through my Skye fog. I’ve never felt cared about by anyone in my entire life, so I don’t know what to do with Hawk’s concern.
“I care about my job,” I mutter back. “I want to stay here.”
“We ain’t made it clear enough that you’re one of us yet?” When I don’t answer, he continues to speak. “Kid, you ain’t goin’ anywhere. You’re a Sons, through and through. Manchester is your home for as long as you want it to be.”
“But?” I ask, sensing the unspoken word hanging between us.
“No but. I’m just checking you’re okay. You’ve got a lot going on. No one would blame you for feeling off-kilter.”
That’s the understatement of the century. I’ve been introducing Skye slowly to the club over the past week, taking her into the common room to mingle with the brothers and old ladies. The response to her has been a wide spectrum. Pia and Hope have been kind to her, but the others have been a little more wary. Heidi remains completely hostile, while most of the brothers ignore her beyond a brief hello if they pass her.
I didn’t expect them to roll out the red fucking carpet, and I don’t have any right to be pissed at the disrespect. Skye ain’t my old lady or even my girlfriend—at least not officially, and there’s zero chance of me getting a vote through to make her mine that way. It would put the club in an impossible situation, a dangerous one too. They would have no choice but to fight to keep her safe, and with things how they are, it’s too much to ask.
“Appreciate you caring, but I don’t need your sympathy, Hawk.”
“Good thing I ain’t giving you sympathy then, ain’t it? I’m just asking a fucking question. If it helps, I like the girl.”
My chest tightens. It helps more than he knows to hear that. I don’t know what my future with Skye looks like, but I want her and our kid to be a part of the club. Having my brothers on my side is important to me. I was on the outside looking in the entire time I was in London, and coming to Manchester changed everything. I was starting to fit in, make connections, feel like a team player—until I got Skye pregnant.
“She ain’t a bad person,” I say. “She’s a victim of her father as much as anyone else.”
