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I dig my nails into the mattress as he pistons his hips, each thrust taking him deeper into my body. I wish I could see his face, see what he’s thinking and feeling, but I can’t lift my head to turn in his direction. I can’t do anything but lie here and receive everything he’s giving to me.
I take his punishing pace, biting my bottom lip so hard, I taste blood. I’m floating, the sensations and emotions rolling through me almost too much to handle.
Rage’s hips stutter and his breathing becomes choppy as he spills warm cum into my pussy. My skin feels like it’s on fire, and I’m sure my cheeks are flushed as he twitches within my pulsing walls.
There’s a quietness that descends over the room, the only sounds our laboured breaths. I’m dizzy, my vision wobbly as the first tear leaks down my cheek. I’m too exhausted, too spent to reach up and wipe them away. I don’t move from my position as he slips free of my body, but I do whimper at the loss of him.
Then he’s back, his mouth pressing a line of kisses along my shoulder. He stops abruptly. “Did I hurt you?” His voice cracks as he asks this, guilt lacing his tone.
“No,” I assure him. Between my legs burns, but I relish the pain in a way I shouldn’t.
“Fuck. The baby…”
At his tone, I roll to face him—a monumental effort considering how jellied my body feels. The look on his face makes my stomach twist. “You didn’t hurt me or the baby.” I don’t know how I manage it, but somehow, I make myself sit up and hold my hands out to him. He comes to me, standing in front of me so his cock is nearly in my face. “I get the feeling that was about more than just having sex. Are you okay?”
He closes his eyes and shakes his head in a rare show of honesty.
“Talk to me, Beau.”
His stormy orbs lock onto mine as he prises his lids open. “I’m scared of who I am.”
I try not to react to his words, uncertain whether he would shut down if I do. “What do you mean?”
“This anger within me… it’s always been the thing that saved me when shit got bad, but now… I’m worried it might be the thing that destroys everything.”
“Beau, you’re not going to be destroyed.”
His lips form a line as he shakes his head, averting his gaze from me. “You don’t understand. Before you, everything made sense. I knew who I was, what I was.”
Pain lances through my chest, a pickaxe to my heart. I don’t really understand what he’s saying, so I don’t know if this is positive or not.
“I don’t care who you were or what.” I grip his hands tight. “I care about who you are now.”
“I came in this room because I was so pumped up after killing a man that I needed to find my release in you.”
I swallow hard, unsure how to deal with what he’s telling me. “I’m always here for you,” I assure him.
He shakes his head. “I lost control, Skye. I could’ve hurt you. Don’t you see, I’m a fuckin’ danger, and the best thing you could do is fuckin’ leave.”
My chest caves in at this. I don’t want to leave. I want to stay with him. I want our child to have both its parents, and even if I do leave, I’ll never make it out there alone. My father has a bounty on me.
I stand, putting myself on his level though nowhere close to his height. “I don’t want to go. I want you, Beau. However you come. I know this is early days between us, but tell me you don’t sense this connection we have.”
“I sense it,” he admits, loosening some of the tension knotting the back of my neck.
I grab his face, forcing him to look at me. “You’re not going to hurt me. You didn’t scare me tonight. You made me feel, and it’s been a really long time since anyone did that.”
I roll to my toes, pressing my lips to his. He doesn’t respond right away, but after a moment, he kisses me back. When we break apart, his forehead rests against mine. “I was half mad when I came in here.”
“Then I’m glad I was able to help you with that.”
“No, you don’t get it, Skye. Killing… it does something to me, and usually, I’d lose myself in some random cunt.”
I jolt at his words. It’s a blow I don’t expect, but when I try to move away, he grabs my wrists, holding me in place. “I don’t… I didn’t want to do that this time,” he says. “All I wanted was you.”
Releasing one of my wrists, he reaches out and strokes my cheek. He keeps hold of the other as if he’s scared to let go of me. “I fuckin’ need you, and that shit scares me, because all this anger and rage inside me… it’s gonna boil over if I don’t have you.”
It feels like the air in the room is suddenly thin and there’s no oxygen. “You have me. I’m right here.”
