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He shrugs. “Why not? It’s good to let it out sometimes.”
Something squeezes in my chest, and I shake my head.
“Sky. Sweetheart. Come here.”
Sucking in my cheek, I slowly join him in the water. My sneakers instantly fill, flooding my socks, but I barely notice.
Nolan brushes my hair back, eyeing my face with a look I can’t quite decipher. I feel my pulse quicken, and I get the sudden urge to turn around, and bolt.
“You said your assignment is to do something you normally wouldn’t, out of fear of getting in trouble. Right?”
Frowning, I nod.Where is he going with this?
Coming behind me, he clutches my shoulders, bringing my back right against his chest. I sense him tip his head back, and then he does it again—screaming raggedly up into the cave, his voice booming, echoing over and over and over again.
I shiver in his arms. Tingles crawl up my spine.
“Come on,” he pants. “Do it. I know you want to. Let it out.”
He screams again, louder if possible. His voice breaks, pitches, but he doesn’t stop.
That weird feeling in my chest intensifies. I can’t explain it—can’t explain why I feel so…unsure all of a sudden. Scared, even.
Not of him. Never of him.
It’s something…else.
His hand presses against my chest. I can feel his heart thumping against my back.
“Scream, Skyler,” he orders softly, firmly, in that tone I’ve come to recognize. One that never fails to make me weak in the knees.
My jaw quivers and I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.
Tears sting my eyes.
Why…
Why is this so hard?
He just wants me to scream. People scream all the time. Babies wail like it’s nothing without a care in the world.
Because you were never allowed to…a voice reminds me.
Memories flash across my mind—all the times I was berated and stared at and locked in my room when I’d get overwhelmed. All the times I just wanted to let this thing inside me out, but I couldn’t, not in any way that was acceptable.
Words, Skyler, use your words.
You’re acting like a child.
No one’s going to take you seriously if you’re throwing a fit. Get yourself under control.
I seal my eyes shut, shaking my head, and Nolan’s holding me tighter, shakingme.
I try to get away, but he doesn’t let me. In my ear, he barks, “Scream, Sky!Scream!”
So I do.
It starts off, quiet, broken—a whine dragged out from somewhere deep inside me. My thoughts are loud. Too loud. Memory after memory barreling through me.
