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“T-tomorrow?”
Less than twenty four hours.
No…
Less thantwelvehours, if he’s leaving at first light.
His hand squeezes mine, but I barely feel it.
I don’t feel…anything.
This wasn’t part of the plan.
This isn’t how it was supposed to go.
“But…” I start to say, turning to face forward. I stare blankly at the ocean, not taking anything in. “We…we have two more weeks,” I manage to utter. “We both have two more weeks.”
I sense him staring intently at my profile, but I can’t bring myself to look.
The horizon grows hazy—blurry.
In my periphery, I’m vaguely aware of him nodding. “They said I could cut it short. My therapist cleared it, I guess. Mel talked with them first, just to make sure I was…okay to leave. There’s… Skyler, there’s no need for me to stay longer than I…have to…” He hisses and looks away, muttering a curse under his breath.
My eyes sting, my jaw quivering. The sun is a smear of red-orange kissing the horizon. Nearly gone now, and he’ll be gone too, the next time I see the sun.
“Skyler, please look at me,” he says in a tight voice, tighter than I’ve ever heard it.
I feel my shoulders starting to swivel back and forth with a familiar rocking motion, and I shake my head, digging my toes in the earth, the sand slipping between my bare soles and my leather flip-flops.
A buzzing has filled my ears, mirroring the tingles spreading up my legs. This doesn’t feel like the typical meltdown though. This feels like something else, and my rocking picks up.
I don’t like this.
I squeeze my eyes shut and duck my head, wrapping my arms around my bent knees.
Maybe if I can squeeze into a small enough ball, I’ll wink out completely so he doesn’t have to witness this. As overwhelmed by emotion as I am, I’m still painfully aware of how immature I’m acting and I hate it.
Later,I beg silently.Please just let me fall apart later when I’m alone.
“Sweetheart,” Nolan whispers.
A hand reaches out, cupping the back of my head, but I don’t budge, pressing my forehead deeper against my knees. I sniff, my gaze searing as I glare at my thighs.Just ride it out, breathe. Focus on the moment, not on what comes after.
He blows out a sharp breath and bows his head to my shoulder.
For a while, we just stay like that. Breathing hotly, harshly.
My nostrils burn, my eyes burning with a fresh wave of tears.
Nolan sniffs, and says, “I can…I can stay. I can finish—”
“No,” I blurt, surprising both of us. Shaking my head, I work my jaw, and stare harder at my thighs. “No, you have to go,” I grit out.
“Sky…”
Sniffing, I reach back, grab his hand, and remove it from my head.
I tell myself to let go, but my fingers have other plans. They curl around his, fusing our palms together.
