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Pursing my lips, I nod. “Okay. Thank you.”
“Anytime, cutie.” He arches his pierced brow. “Now hand over that drink, so we can figure out something you actually like.”
Reluctantly, I slide it over, and watch him turn around.
My thoughts drift as he goes about making me something else.
There’s no way I can stay here a month, risking Nolan seeing me, but just as soon as the thought comes, others stop me.
I need to save money.
My car sucks.
I need to find a doctor to prescribe me more meds.
I need to be able to afford seeing the doctorandthe meds.
I need to get my head straight.
I need Nolan.
NO!I inwardly shout at myself, slamming a steel door down on that line of thinking.
For two years, I’ve been on my own, making my way without any help from anyone. Now is not the time to turn into a pathetic, lovesick, codependent fool, just because he’s in such close proximity.
I wanted to impress him.
Ugh! Listen to yourself.
No, this was always about more than just him. It was about me too, about my promise to him, yes, but also a promise to myself.
I did what I set out to do—I got to Vermont, and I…
Well, I got my closure, as one-sided as it feels.
Sometimes that’s just the way life is, and I need to suck it up and deal, even if it hurts. Even if it feels like I’m suddenly swimming against a current determined to pull me back and throw me against a jagged rock.
I just need to keep swimming.
Keep breathing.
Keep trying.
One month tops to plan and prepare, and then I’m out of here.
I just need to get through one month without seeing him. Because I meant what I said when I told Micah I didn’t come here to destroy his life. I wouldn’t do that to him. I’m not a homewrecker.
It’s risky, staying here, but who knows if I’ll find a better option than this—a job, a place to sleep, somewhere safe…
One month. I can do this. And then I can start over…
Again.
Nolan and I might be over, but my life isn’t.
It just feels like it is…
CHAPTERTHIRTY-TWO
