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“Wait,” I say, holding up a hand, shaking my head. “You…you came for me? In Indiana?”
I don’t understand.
He missed me?
He wanted to make sure I was okay?
He nods, balling his hand into a fist on his lap. His mouth thins before he says, “I just…I was so worried. I was terrified your parents did something. Sent you somewhere.”
My eyes widen, and he shoots me a bashful look.
“You aren’t on socials,” he says gently. I shake my head, confirming as much. “So the next best thing was Google. God, I’ve probably checked for your obituary almost every day for two years now.”
Pain rockets through my chest. “Nolan…”
He gives me a little shake of his head and looks away. “Just like my PI said, you weren’t there. Your mother said you were gone.”
I blink. Once. Twice. Then, “You met my mother?”
He nods, eyeing me warily. “She answered the door. Said she doesn’t have a son, and slammed the door in my face.”
My eyes pop open wide.
And yeah, it hurts—to hear that my mother well and truly erased my existence from her life—but it also doesn’t surprise me. She said this would be the case if I walked out of the family. If I disowned them, they’d disown me right back. What’s fair is fair.
His brow furrows, watching me. “It took everything in me not to storm into that house to look for you.”
I’m shaking my head. “I wasn’t there. She wasn’t lying.”
“I called my guy back up, but like I said, he didn’t really have much he could go on to find you. All he could do was assure me you weren’t in the system, locked up somewhere.”
Tears sting my eyes, and I shake my head. “I had no idea. I didn’t even think…”
I never fucking think.
“But that was over two years ago, Sky,” he says. “And you said you’ve only been here for six months. Where were you?”
“Indiana,” I say simply. “It wasn’t exactly easy getting here. It took me two years to save up enough money to make the trip.” I cut him a long look. “All I had when I moved out was a car and a bag of clothes. I lived in my car while I worked as often as I could, saving up. Eventually winter hit, so I had to get a cheap motel room to live out of. So that put me behind a bit. And I just…I continued to save. But with no college degree, and—”
“You lived in yourcar?”
“Well, yeah. Where else was I going to sleep?”
“Jesus fucking Christ,” he moans, slapping his hands to his face. “Why the fuck didn’t you track me down and call me? You found my business online. You should’ve called. Unlike you, I wasn’t off the map. If you couldn’t get here, I would’ve came for you.”
I say nothing to that.
Nolan lowers his hands. “Why, Skyler?”
“Why didn’t you come find me yourself?” I whisper, tears burning the back of my eyes. He explained this already, but it still doesn’t compute. It doesn’t make sense. “Why did you lie to me that night? We could’ve avoided all of this.”
His face breaks and he shakes his head. “Because I’m a fucking idiot.” Groaning, he turns toward the door and punches the side of his fist against the handle, and I flinch. “Fuck. I…I got all up in my head, Sky. This isn’t what I thought would happen. I don’t know what else to say. I was so…tunnel-visioned about getting Abby back, and getting back into Mel’s good graces so I could stay involved in their life. And…it took a while, okay? It took a long time for her to even leave me alone in a room with her.”
Sucking in my cheek, I nod.
“And then…I guess it was just easier to believe I was doing what’s best for you. I had to know you were okay, but I didn’t want to confuse you more—I didn’t want to interfere, and make things worse. You were so goddamnyoung,Skyler. You still are. I really thought you’d move on. I never expected you to come find me. I— Where are you going?”
Throwing open the door, I hop down into the snow. Thick, soft whiteness soaks immediately into my sneakers. My skinny jeans. But I hardly notice. Slamming the door shut behind me, I start stomping toward the woods.
