AllFreeNovel
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I frown.
He looks down at our joined hands. “The thing is, I was so…consumed by what we had going on when we were on the island, that I kind of lost focus as to why I was there in the first place.”
I blink a couple times. “Sex, you mean?”
“Yeah.”
Oh.
“So combine that with all my guilt and shame over Abby and Mel….well, it didn’t leave much room for cravings. Not until I got home, and things settled down did it return with a vengeance.”
I’ve read about this. Addicts replacing one vice with another, especially in the early days of recovery. I guess I just assumed it’d be something like candy, or cookies, or…exercise.
Well, wewereexercising.
“But that’s not all it was,” he adds quickly. “Us, I mean. Please know that. If anything, my feelings for you on the island—my growing attachment, my desire…” He shrugs with a rueful smile. “All it did was feed the beast. It gave it exactly what I craved. An escape of the best kind. One I never wanted to give up.”
“That sounds dangerous.”
He nods. “Could be. And that’s precisely why I have Hal now, and AA, and therapy. So thatthis”—he squeezes my hand—“and anything else that feels good, doesn’t turn into something toxic.” He pauses. “I’ve spent three and a half years missing you more than I’ve missed drinking. Three and a half years sacrificing happiness, all because I was scared I’d fuck it all up.”
My eyes burn.
“I’m tired, Sky.”
“I know,” I whisper.
“We deserve good things, right?”
I nod. “We do.”
A long moment passes where neither of us say anything, and I mentally play back all that he said.
“Hal?” I question softly.
“My sponsor.” Nolan arches a brow, his gaze glittering like he knows something I don’t. “He’s heard a lot about you.”
“He has?”
“Yep” He grunts. “And let’s just say, he’s been Team Skyler from the start.”
My eyes widen.
“He’s going to be thrilled about this. And most definitely going to be rubbing it in my face, telling me, ‘I told you so, kid.’” He smirks.
My mouth twitches. “He calls you kid?”
A nod.
Then, “Wait, rubbing in what?”
He coughs out a laugh, shaking his head. “Just that I’m a dumbass, and I was wrong, and…well, that’s pretty much it.” He shrugs. “He believed in us when I didn’t. Believed inyou,when I was too caught up in my head.”
I bite my lip, and he narrows his eyes.
“Hal,” I blurt softly, straightening.
He tilts his head. “Do you know what it means?”
