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Adam was a victim too.
All this time, I didn’t see that—couldn’t—and while it will never excuse what he did, it did allow me to give them another chance to explain…
To hear Adam’s perspective, and to give mine, as painful as it was for all of us.
We were just kids.
Since then, in a mutual effort to take this school down, Adam and I have slowly begun to mend things as we worked alongside his boyfriend and two other guys Parker befriended during his time there.
We’ll never be the friends I thought we were before he lured me into Pastor Gabriel’s trap. And sometimes, it is hard to remember he’s not the enemy. Mentally, I can rationalize it, especially knowing what I do now.
But on a physical level…
It’s not always possible.
But regardless of my individual trauma that comes up sometimes, we do care for each other. In a way that only those who’ve been through shared trauma can be. All five of us.
My lip rises ruefully.The Canaan Five.
“And Pastor Gabriel?” I say, returning to the conversation. “The others?”
Nolan replies, “Parker said they seem to be keeping a low profile right now. It’s only a matter of time before arrest warrants go out.” He arches me a brow. “They’re fucked, and they know it.”
Throat thick, all I can do is nod. My fingers buzz, but not in a bad way. It’s just…a lot. This…relief washing over me. It’s a feeling I’ve experienced before, of course, but it’s foreign in its intensity. I’m almost afraid to believe it’s real, that this is finally happening.
It’s been a long two years building this case with the lawyers Parker hired. Having to relive what happened—recount my story—it’s been hard. Can’t deny that.
But I have Nolan. And Mel, who’s become a close friend over the years. And I have therapy.
“It’s thanks to him, you know,” I say softly.
He knows I mean Adam.
If it wasn’t for him turning on his step-father and the other pastors—whistleblowing on everything he saw and knew about that the rest of us didn’t…
Well, I don’t think we’ve could’ve pulled this off.
Nolan’s jaw tightens and he nods. “It’s thanks to all of you. But I know what you’re saying, and I’m trying.”
“Do you think me weak for forgiving him?”
He’s already shaking his head well before I get the question fully out. It’s not the first time I’ve asked this, and like always he’s firm in his response.
“Absolutely not. If anything, it’s the opposite. It takes a lot more strength to forgive, than to hold onto hate.”
I play with Everett’s hair as he makes anotherboomsound.The storm’s getting closer. We’ll need to head inside.
“But you don’t hate him,” I say knowingly.
He shakes his head. “I hate the situation. I hate the people who failed you both. I hate the system….because all those failures led to you getting hurt.”
I smile thinly, nodding. “I hate it too.”
Our eyes meet, dancing over one another’s.
Inhaling deeply, I tip my head back just as the first drop of rain hits my cheek. “This is just the beginning, isn’t it?”
He nods. “Yeah, sounds like.” He shrugs a shoulder, and stands, reaching down for Everett. “But you’ve got this.We’vegot this. The hardest part is over. Now, you get justice.”
