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The fact that I’m here, banished to this island, rather than with my daughter…
And then this morning. Everything I said, the way I took it out on Skyler, the way I feel right now, so angry, so helplessly infuriated…
It’s got me all twisted up inside. Confused.
I’m lonely… So fucking lonely, and up until now, I never minded.
But now…
Sitting up abruptly, I lower my legs, crossing them, and I glare out into the ocean.
What the hell is wrong with me?
“You have a kid?” he asks, his voice quiet. There’s something to his tone I can’t place.
I nod. “Yeah. Abigail. Abby. She’s…” I frown. “Well, she’s two now. Her birthday was last month.”
He doesn’t say anything to that.
“I should probably head back up,” I say gruffly. “Mel will be calling me soon.”She better…
She hasn’t called me in over a week. A new record.
Climbing to a stand, I dust off my jeans and hands, then turn and offer him my hand.
Skyler blinks up at me, his cheeks heating to a faint pink.
I frown, but then he’s diverting his gaze and grabbing my hand—surprisingly tight—his skin gritty and damp from the surf.
Hauling him up, I can’t help but notice how small his hand feels in mine. Not as small as Mel’s, but daintier than I’d imagine most guys’ hands feel. Not that I’ve really gone around thinking what it’s like to hold a guy’s hand.
Once he’s steady, I release him and whirl around, casting a look around the empty beach. “You should probably head back too. It’s getting dark.”
He says nothing to that.
The urge to walk him to his room is strong—stronger than I’m expecting, and it sends a bolt of unease ripping through me, spurring on the other part of me—the bigger part—the part that just wants to bolt and never look back.
It has to be ‘cause he’s a kid. Never in my life have I felt such a visceral need to protect someone, save for my daughter. I’m just transferring my shit on him—all these fatherly instincts need somewhere to go after all, and without Abby here…
“Nolan?” he says quietly.
My eyes slide shut as all sorts of thoughts and urges fire off inside me.
What…what is this…
I don’t understand…
I don’t…
“Yeah?” I grit out tightly.
A beat passes before he murmurs, “Thank you.”
I still, every muscle in my body tensing, my thoughts silencing.
Turning my head over my shoulder, I blink back at him.
His gaze is aimed at the ground, and I can’t help but appreciate how the little remaining orange light sort of just…pulses around him. While I’m here, caked in shadows, turned away.
