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Obviously, I know he couldn’t actually hear what I was thinking—remembering—but it still feels like an invasion of privacy.
His cheeks pink and he diverts his gaze, hiking up his backpack.
Of course, he chose to do the hike as well. What the hell was he thinking? Especially dressed like that, in his fancy, pressed shorts and linen shirt.
Jesus,I think, glancing down at his white sneakers, shaking my head.
“Alright, everybody. If you’ve done the nature hike before, you know the drill…”
Tuning out the guy leading today’s hike—one of the only Focus activities I actually enjoy, seeing as it gets me away from everybody. Well, everybody but the poor shmuck they decide to partner me with—I shrug off my backpack, and pull out my phone, unlocking the screen.
Nothing.
Blowing out a breath, I ignore the nosy eyes watching me as I brush my hair back. I shove the phone back in the front pocket, zipping it up.
“…yourselves today.”
Someone groans, while others murmur in excitement.
I grit my teeth and clench my fists, forcing myself to count to ten as I take deep breaths.
Fuck this place. Fuck everything.
The cravings have returned with a vengeance since my talk with Mel, and it’s made me more miserable than ever. As if the promise of getting out next week was holding them at bay, now nothing—not even my shame over nearly killing my daughter—is enough to keep them back.
What’s the fucking point anymore? I’m trapped here, and for what?
Nothing will ever be enough…
I adjust my straps, and check that my canteen is hanging securely. It’s not an ideal set-up—just your basics, all provided by the facility—but it’s just a day hike.
I’d kill to have my own shit though, including better boots. All I brought with me were my black Timbs I usually wear for work, and these things are on their last legs.
Grabbing the rubber band off my wrist that I stole from Dr. Weaver’s desk during yesterday’s emergency therapy session, I pull back my thick hair in a small, messy knot, and tuck the strands that have slipped out behind my ears.
I hear footsteps crunching along the dirt, and my fingers still as I glance up through my lashes.
“Hi,” Skyler says, smiling tentatively. His gaze darts to mine, then away, then back.
My frown deepens, and I lower my hands, straightening. “What?”
He turns rigid at my harsh tone, and he drops his gaze.
Shit.
Muttering a curse, I glance around, brow furrowing when I see everyone partnering up and heading into the jungle.
“I-I was wondering if you wanted to be partners?” Skyler says, his voice cracking nervously.
Great. Just great.
Of course I wasn’t paying attention, so now I’m stuck with the last person I should be stuck with. Especially when I’m in a mood like I am today.
I was hoping they’d randomly pair us off.
Better yet—let me go alone.
But that wouldn’t be very team-building of them, would it?
