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Shaking my head, I tighten my hold on Ivy’s calves, locking her in place when she starts swaying as I approach the others. People pass by us, sparing amused glances up at the girls now towering over everyone else.
“Onward!” Phoebe shouts over the music and warring laughter and chatter, pointing in the direction of the parade’s march toward Center City.
More confetti gets sprayed out over the crowd, floating down on us like snow. I sidle up next to Will, peeking around Ivy’s leg to meet his gaze. Just past him, on his other side, Shawn looks around, seemingly taking everything in. Unlike us, he wears a shirt under his boa. It’s solid black. And just next to his eye, there’s a small rainbow sticker I didn’t see earlier.
Fingers bump mine, but quickly retreat. My gaze cuts sharply to Will’s, but his attention is directed somewhere up ahead. The glancing touch was clearly an accident, and realizing that has that twinge of restlessness I felt earlier resurfacing.
My throat thickens, and my heart thumps faster than it did a moment ago. I feel a trickle of sweat slide down my neck that has nothing to do with Ivy’s body heat.
Now,a voice says.
Sucking in a sharp breath, I blink a few times, soaking in the marrow of this moment, silently hyping myself up.
Flags of varying colors, but mostly rainbows, fill up the street all around me. It’s all I can see. They flap proudly in the gentle breeze, sunlight pouring through, making it all the more brighter. Colorful.
I’m safe here.
The music coming from the float ahead changes up to another song I don’t recognize. It has Ivy squeezing my head as I assume she starts waving her hands around. Phoebe does the same, and I tip my head back, squinting up to where they lace their fingers as they start singing along, swaying to the music.
I grin and look down, colliding with my favorite set of blue eyes.
He wags his brows and it’s like time stops, the world around us fading away, leaving just the two of us.
Now, now, now--
And in the light of day, for the world to see, I find my boyfriend’s hand and lace our fingers together.
Our steps stutter right along with the heart in my chest, slamming against my ribs.
I did it.
His words from earlier replay through my head.
“All that matters is that you’re you and you’re mine, and that is worthy of a place in this community.”
Emotion sears the back of my eyes. It’s so simple, so fucking silly, holding this boy’s hand. And yet it feels so big.
I realize it’s not just the guy standing next to me I see. It’s me too. The boy I was all those years ago. All the versions of whoIwas growing up. The one who hid in the shadows, waiting and wishing for a day he didn’t have to hide. A day he didn’t fear who he was.
You can come out now,I tell him.You’re safe here.
And this guy holding your hand right now, the one gazing back at you like you hold the entire universe in your palm?
Well, he’s been waiting for you.
And he’ll never let you fall.
My palm is sweaty against Will’s, and I clutch him with a death-grip. But it’s okay, it’s okay.I’mokay.
Better than okay.
I might not yet have the guts to love this boy out loud back home, but I have today—wehave today. We have this city. We have this community.
I’m not broken.
I’m not alone.
And one day…one day we’ll have this in Shiloh too. I justknowit.
