Page 39 of All We Are


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And there’s still a whole month and a half before I actually leave…

But I don’t say that, because he’s not wrong.

The plan is to make my departure as uneventful as possible. I already made Ivy and my parents promise not to throw me any going away parties. They can come see me off in Allentown. I’m not going back to Shiloh. Not for a while.

I’m done pretending like it doesn’t kill me every time I see that fucking bridge, or drive past my parents’ boarded up house or the school, or walk into Chickie’s or O’Leary’s.

I’m just…done.

Will knows the score, and he said he’s happy to run interference if I need it. If I could, I’d hop on the first flight out tomorrow.

Mason swallows. “Promise?”

I open my mouth, close it, unsure what to even say to that.

“Promise me you’ll come home.” His voice breaks the slightest bit, pain and something else—something far deeper—shining back at me through his glimmering eyes.

Fear.

My jaw quivers, chills skating down my arms, and before I can stop myself, I give a jerky nod.

Despite my better judgment.

Despite knowing promises like this are pointless at best, and heartbreaking at worst.

Despite knowing there’s no fucking guarantee Iwillever see him again.

Bad shit happens. Life is unpredictable at best, and downright cruel at worst.

He knows this.

I know this.

Butfuck,if I can stand that terrified look in his eyes. Not when I know just how deep his fears run, how intricately woven in they are.

Our anxieties feed off each other. They always have. Since we were kids. And yet, for whatever reason, it’s in each other we find solace.

So, clenching my teeth until I fear they might crack, I nod again.

I can’t stop.

Nor can I stop myself from reaching over and cupping his cheek, being mindful of the pencil poking out from between my pale, trembling fingers.

“I promise,” I utter with quiet force.

Tears shimmer in his eyes and he nods against my palm, twisting his head, molding his jaw against my flesh. He squeezes his eyes shut.

Only then, when he’s not looking, do I cut my gaze heavenward, blinking rapidly against the tears threatening to spill.

Europe can’t come fast enough…

Yet something tells me, no amount of time or distance will ever be enough.

It will always be Mason for me…

But he will always behers.Izzy’s. My twin sister’s. Mydeadtwin sister’s.

Because it doesn’t matter that she’s no longer here. He’s still hers, and always will be. At least when it comes to the two of us, and the wayIneed him.

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