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Clearing my throat softly, I round the coffee table, and crawl back to the side of the sectional I abandoned last night when I couldn’t sleep.
I didn’t know Jeremy was awake, much less outside. I heard them when they got back, but pretended to be sleeping. Not long after they disappeared upstairs, Ididpass out…
But it didn’t last long.
I probably spent a good ten minutes in the kitchen last night just standing there in front of the sliding glass doors, watching smoke bloom up in the night, fighting with myself.
Going out there was definitely not the right thing to do. Far from it.
But I did it anyway.
Because I couldn’t help myself.
Because I couldn’t stand the idea of my last interaction with Jeremy, until who the fuck knows when, being our conversation during the parade yesterday. Not that much was even said, other than confirmation that he wanted nothing to do with me.
But I saw the look on his face when I stared into his eyes and said his name.
Hell, it was that shattered, then rapidly shuttered look in his eye that ate at me all throughout the afternoon and deep into the night.
Yeah, and how did you try and make that better?a mocking voice pipes up.By bullying him to hold you and making him promise you something he most certainly can’t keep.
Nor should he even try…I silently add pitifully.
I bring the thick blanket I used on the couch last night up to my shoulders, and roll toward the cushions, putting my back to the room. Still shivering, I hunker down, trying to keep my teeth-chattering to a minimum.
With the other blanket, the thin one Jeremy must’ve left me with, gotten from who knows where…
I bring it up to my chest. My face. I hug it to me pathetically.
“He’s gone.”
Everything in me stills at deep, scratchy voice ringing out.
“Just thought you should know. He left about a half hour ago.”
Blinking rapidly, I try to swallow through the lump wedged in my throat.
The other side of the sectional creaks with Shawn’s movements. I hear him sitting up, but I stay as I am, even though we both know I’m wide awake and listening.
“Your phone vibrated not too long after.”
With that, he stands, and I hear his feet move across the room, fading away.
Releasing a shuddery breath, I sit up on my elbow, and twist around to reach for my phone on the end table. With a trembling hand that I blame on the morning chill, I scoop it up, and drop back down on the couch.
Bringing it up to my face, I tap the screen.
It’s a Snapchat notification from Jeremy.
Frowning, I open the app, and let my thumb hover over the unopened image.
We…don’t talk on this app. Hell, I forgot I still had it downloaded on my phone. It’s been years since I used it.
I swallow tightly.
Just do it.
I don’t know what I was expecting, but a snap of a bus ticket to Allentown was not it.
