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“You’reCalvin’solder brother, aren’t you?”Icut in.It’snot just his face, but the way he talks and moves.Theycouldn’t be more identical, except for his distinct lack of his brother’s charisma.
Hesquares his shoulders, his hands curling into fists. “Ifany of you fuck with him,I’llkill you.”He’sfacing four to one odds with no weapon, but something tells me he’d rip our throats out with his teeth if it would save his brother.
“We’renot going to hurt anyone,”Isoothe, nodding toward the other guys.Romanhas been abandoned to play with the animals whileCalvingivesBecka tour of his imaginary house. “I’mDallas, and this isScout.”
Ioffer my hand, but he just stares warily and refuses to come closer.
“Whereare you two from?”Scoutasks, finally picking up on my hints that we should be nice.
Theo’sshoulders sag, and his gaze wanders toward the mountains. “NewMexico.”Iexpect him to stop, but he keeps spilling out more words, faster and faster in a breathless rush like he hasn’t talked to another adult in who knows how long. “Ifound outCPSwas gonna takeCalvinaway from our parents and put him in the system, and they saidIwasn’t a fit guardian.Sowe ran away.Wetook aGrayhoundfromAlbuquerquetoDenvera month ago.Thisguy on the bus said he had an empty apartment we could live in, butIdidn’t realize he wanted…”Hisface stiffens, and he hangs his head. “Idid everything he asked, but then he tried to touchCalvin.Ihit him with a chair.Idon’t know if he’s dead or not, andIdon’t care, either.Wetook any bus we could afford, and ran out of money inFortHolden.Pleaselet us stay here tonight, andIpromise we’ll move on tomorrow.”
Ahigh pitched, childish laugh catches our attention.CalvinandBeckappear to be building a dirt ramp so they can jumpBeck’sHotWheelscar over a log.Myhand slides into my pocket and squeezes my own tiny black truck.
Theo’stired face softens a little, but it just makes him look even more sad.Hecan’t be older than twenty, and he seems even more naive thanIwas whenHaydenthrew me out.Thethought of someone taking advantage of their innocence makes me want to puke.
“Right,”Scoutspeaks up suddenly. “Youtwo are gonna get yourselves assaulted and murdered with your body parts thrown in a dumpster if you don’t screw your head on straight and make a plan.”
Theo’seyes widen. “I–”
“Wehave a camper in the trees a few miles down river; you can walk there before dark if you start soon.Just, uh, don’t letCalvinlook under the bed.Staythere untilDallasgets you a job at theKingSoopers.”
Iraise my eyebrows at him. “Sorry,IthinkImisplaced my pile of free jobs.”
Hejust waves his hand dismissively.OnceScoutgets an idea in his head, he’ll bend fucking reality until everything happens exactly the way he wants, through sheer force of will.
Theo’spale cheeks flush as his eyes flick between us. “No, we can’t.”Atleast he learned from his mistakes.
“Look.”Itake a careful step toward him. “Thisisn’t like the apartment.You’llbe safely tucked away in the woods by yourselves, and if you want to leave, we won’t be able to stop you.”Itdoesn’t seem wise to mention the fact that it’sScoutandRoman’sporn trailer, where they go to film shit that’s too loud or intense to do at home.Scoutwasn’t kidding when he said not to look under the bed.
Swallowing,Theoglances over to whereRomanis letting the kitten sleep onTubbs’sback, then toBeckplaying a hectic game of keepaway with the toy car as a screechingCalvintries to climb him. “Butwhat do you want from us?”
“You’regonna get three answers to that,”Scoutoffers drily. “I’mgoing to say thatIdon’t want my food stolen from my own driveway anymore.Myboyfriend thinks his dog needs a kitten to play with.Andthis one–” he nods at me “–will say that we don’t want your brother getting hurt after you fought so hard to keep him safe.”Hepauses for a beat, and his voice softens. “Allthree of them are true.”
HeandTheostart talking logistics–the location of the trailer, how to work the gas generator, what food they can eat from the cupboards.Idon’t hear any of it, becauseIget distracted watchingBeckandCalvinwrestle and chase each other in the grass like they’re best friends.Theman’s clean clothes have already gotten ruined with dirt and sweat thatI’mgoing to have to try and wash out.Hiswild grin is too goofy and his laugh is obnoxiously loud and he’s so, so perfect.
Toomany feelings swirl around in my chest whenIlook at him.Thinkingabout last night still turns me on, but the lust is consumed by something so much bigger it feels like a force of nature.Ilove him, desperately and utterly.Ialways have, even before it had a name.Maybethis feels so confusing because moving from love to lust is backwards from how it’s done in stories.Lustbrings so many complications–my body, my virginity, learning a new language with each other.That’sthe scary part, where we don’t have a road map or any assurance we won’t ruin everything.Butnothing could ever stop me from loving him.
Beckdumps a gigglingCalvinon the ground, and the kid listens curiously with one eye on his brother asScoutupdates everyone on the plan.Weall glance atRomanwhen he clears his throat, looking nervous.Thistime he signs carefully, soBeckcan translate.
“Hesays thatHobbesseems kind of tired and hungry.Wehave formula, so we could keep him up at the house for a few nights.”
Calvin’smouth flies open, ready to protest, but he hesitates when he meetsBeck’seyes.Thekid clearly worships him already. “Doyou think he’d be happier that way?”
I’msurprised whenTheospeaks up. “Itmight help him get stronger.”NowthatIthink about it, trying to keep a boy and a kitten alive at the same time must be wearing him out.
“Alright,”Calvinmurmurs reluctantly. “Butyou have to promise to give him back.”
Romandraws an x over his heart, a gestureBeckdoesn’t need to translate.
“We’llcheck on you tomorrow,”Scoutconcludes, offeringTheohis hand. “Youhave my number, so call if you can’t find it or it’s full of rabid prairie dogs.”
EventhoughTheo’swound up body hasn’t relaxed, he hesitantly accepts the handshake. “Thankyou.”Behindthe wounded pride in his voice, he sounds relieved.Itfeels weird to leave them out here and go back to our comfortable house, but they’re already gathering the last of their stolen food into backpacks so they can hike to the trailer.
IexpectBeckandScoutto walk together again, butScoutfalls in next toRomanso he can help wrangle the two animals.AsTubbsleads them off down the road from one interesting spot to another, a warm hand locks fingers with mine andBecktugs me to a stop.Ishoot him a bewildered look.
“Ineed to talk to you.”He’snot smiling anymore, and his eyes look concerned.
Myheart drops in a nauseous surge of panic. “No.Iknow it’s not fair to make you wait for an answer, but please don’t–”
