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CHAPTER24
Gia
I nervously turnthe handle on Nico’s bedroom door, surprisingly finding it unlocked. I’m not sure if Nico meant to do that or if he forgot, but I’m done being cooped up in his room. So I shut the door quietly and head down the darkened hall to the stairs. This time, since I’m not running or being carried up, I can see that this area of the house is like the others, but also different. It’s not as cold, but with hints of warmth.
I should be panicking and using this time to my advantage and try to get the hell out of here, but I’m far too confused. I gave myself to Nico, and after the blow-up before that, I’m feeling too emotionally drained to try and figure out a way out of here. So, instead, I focus on trying to sort out my thoughts and feelings because it feels like everything has changed and I’m on the precipice of something monumental.
At the end of the hall I come to the stairs that will either take me down toward the main halls, or I can go up back to my room. I consider both options but decide I need to clear my head. I go down the stairs, but I don’t head toward the front door and the kitchen, instead I head the opposite way and just keep walking. Nico might be pissed when he can’t find me, but I don't care. He has his cameras to locate me.
Right now, I want to be alone. I can’t focus when he’s around. He’s too overwhelming.
I walk past many doors, paintings, and art pieces. Spaces I would love to explore later, but right now, I don’t pay them any mind. Instead, all I can think about is the fact I’ve gone and done the one thing I told myself I wouldn’t do. I said I wasn’t going to give in to Nico, I wouldn’t surrender, and yet, here I am, tied to him in ways I’m not sure I will ever be able to wrap my head around. Even now, my core is sore, and my thighs ache with each step. And yet, if I’m honest with myself, I’m not upset about it. And I think that’s what’s worrying me the most.
I don’t regret giving Nico my virginity. Hell, how can I when he made me feel the way he did? How can I when that man took any ideas I had about sex turned them on their head? I can see why so many women throw themselves at him, especially if he treats them all like that.
Even as that thought enters my mind, my gut clenches and my heart twists. I don’t want to think about Nico and other women, because eventually, I’ll just be one of them. Only a memory. Soon enough, he’ll be tired of me, and I’ll be cast aside and someone else will be in my place. I should be happy about the prospect, especially since that means he’ll be done with me and I’ll get my freedom, but Nico’s words from earlier come back.
Even if you were able to go out on your own, you would never be free.
I hate that he’s right. When he’s finished with me, there are only a few options for him, and I have a feeling he won’t want to go to the trouble of keeping me out of reach of my family. No, he’ll probably return me to them, or he’ll kill me and be done with it. And if I’m honest, death would be kinder. I’m sure my father would kill me anyway, or he’ll determine me to be useless and sell me off to the highest bidder, or give me to his men.
My stomach tightens at the thought. God, Nico could do that to me as well. I’d rather die. And I’d probably end up killing myself if that was the case. But even as that thought enters my mind, I reject it immediately. Nico won’t do that. He thinks he’s a big bad man, but I’ve seen the softness and the kindness underneath all the rough and sharp edges. There is no mistaking Nico is a dangerous man, but he’s not cruel from what I’ve seen. He’s tough, but he comes off as fair.
Hell, I’ve seen cruel. My family is terrible to those that report to them. Their staff, their soldiers, and those who come across their paths. They think they are untouchable, and I hope one day they get a large dose of karma that shows them it’s not true. I probably shouldn’t be thinking that, but here, in the quiet of my own thoughts, I can admit it.
My life growing up was hell, and I long ago accepted my family never loved me. Never wanted me. Even my own mother was absent at best. She blamed me for her husband falling out of love with her, despite the fact she gave him five sons before me. I think that hurt me more than my father and brothers hating me. Knowing my mother did too, it was that knowledge that led me to be as silent and out of the way as possible.
But here I am, all grown up, and doing the same thing, other than the last couple of weeks with Nico. For the first time in my life I’ve allowed myself to be who I want to be, and not just a quiet and timid mouse that tries to stay out of the way and not be seen or heard. I’ve fought him, I’ve yelled, I’ve screamed, and I’ve leaned on him even when I probably shouldn’t. I’m finally allowing myself to realize who I am and what I can do when I’m no longer under my family’s thumb.
I reach the end of the long hallway and find another set of stairs that go down and curl toward the right. I carefully head down them, and find another long hallway, but with fewer doors. God, this place is a maze and I hope I can find my way back when I finally get done with this little self-reflection walk.
Curiosity gets the best of me when I smell the faintest hint of chlorine. I follow it and slowly open a door that reveals a marble staircase leading into a lower level. I walk down, curious, and then I let out a soft gasp when I reach the bottom and see the huge indoor pool area that takes up a large part of this level.
The room is dark, much like the rest of the house, with gothic looking pillars and arches around the pool. Surrounding it are some lounge chairs, and small tables, which tells me people used to hang out here a lot. I wonder if Nico ever uses this. He doesn’t strike me as the swimming type, but I always was. Though I rarely got to indulge when I was living at home. I had swim lessons because my father didn’t want me to drown and cost him the chance at being able to use me and bargain my body in the future. But he awoke a love of the water, and I have to fight the urge to strip down and dive in. Instead, I slip off my shoes and socks, roll up my pant legs to my knees and sit on the edge of the pool, dipping my feet into the water.
I sigh at the warmth on my feet. I guess Nico likes a heated pool as well, which I won’t complain about. Instead, I lean back on my hands, and look up at the intricately painted and carved ceiling and let myself relax. I don’t know how long I can stay here, and I want to enjoy it.
I close my eyes, letting my thoughts wander.
It’s the first time I’ve ever really felt calm and at peace. No one here to bother me. I don’t have the threat of my father, brothers, or cousins finding me and making my life hell. I don’t have to go about my boring routine every day, and I don’t have to worry about surprise visits.
Maybe I’ve finally lost my mind. Just finally snapped and now there’s nothing I can do but go along for the ride. At what point did I stop fighting? No, that’s not true. I’ve always been fighting, but I’m just so damn tired that I don’t want to anymore. A small part of me wants to tell Nico I never want to leave. That I’ll stay here as his prisoner forever. Hell, I don’t care if he makes me fake my own death and I have to live under his roof as part of the staff for the rest of my life. I’d give up my freedom, but I’d be alive, and it would be my choice.
A larger part of me reminds me if I stay here, I’m giving up the chance at having a normal life, even if only for a little bit. I want to be able to walk the streets and go into a shop just because I can. I want to be able to sit at the park and watch children playing, sweet young couples cuddling and walking together. I want to know that I can do it without worrying that someone will stop me. I can’t do that here.
Even if Nico decides to keep me around and in his life and bed, there is no guarantee he would let me live a normal life. Mafia men are possessive and overbearing even at the best of times, and Nico strikes me as being even more so. Which means that even if I got to do the normal everyday things, I’d have him or guards with me. Someone always watching over me. Even now I hate the idea, but it’s the reality of my situation.
I’m a mafia princess, even if I’ve never thought of myself as one. I’m a De Luca, and even if my family isn’t after me, someone will be when they figure out my identity. Which means there is always going to be a chance I’ll be taken. But by whom and for what is the question.
I suppose I should be grateful to my father that he kept me out of the public eye, and off the radar of everyone. I was spared the horror of being kidnapped and used, but at a price.
Though, it’s not lost on me I was indeed kidnapped. I allow a small smirk to pull at my lips. My kidnapper has surprised me at every single turn. After all, what kind of man kidnaps a woman because she bumped into him and intrigued him? Apparently Nico Armani, and the man is far from ordinary. And I suppose, if I’m truly being honest, if I was going to have to endure a kidnapping, I’m glad it’s been with Nico.
He’s given me choices, for the most part, and he’s treated me better than anyone else would have in his position. I’ve heard the horror stories of what women in other families have endured, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Still, I’m not an idiot. Am I having Stockholm Syndrome and now I’m convincing myself I’m better off with Nico because he treats me better than my other jailers?
Therein lies my problem. Not to mention I’m probably letting amazing sex blind me. Then again, we’ve only had sex once and who’s to say he’ll do as great a job next time? Maybe he was showing off this time to seduce me into bed, and from now on it’s going to be shit?
Yeah, right. Because men that fuck like Gods just stop being good at it?
