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“I will not stay here and be your whore, your pet, or anything else, Nico,” she says coldly, lowering her voice. There is such a finality in her tone, it takes a second for it to penetrate. But when it does, everything inside me goes still. “Because I am worth more than that,” she continues. “I’m worth being able to have everything, and if I need to find a way to leave to do that, I will. And if that is with the Caruso’s, then so be it. If it means I get there and I have to escape, I will. Because I’m done being a punching bag. I’m done being told I’m worth nothing more than the ability to bear a child for some asshole who wants more power and connections. I’m done being a pawn in a game that I didn’t ask to be a part of. And that includes you if that’s all you want me for.”
That’s what she thinks she is to me? A pawn? A hole to fuck and breed? I’m done with her putting words in my mouth, acting like she knows what’s going on in my head.
“You know nothing of what I want from you, Giulia,” I hiss at her. “I want everything. I want to own every part of you. I want to possess every emotion. I want to know that every single day you wake up, you know you belong to me because you spent the night with my cock inside every hole and you can still feel me all fucking day. I want be able to come home knowing that I’m going to find you in the library or wherever the fuck else you are, bend you over the nearest surface, and start all over again.”
“So your little fuck toy,” she sneers, but I see the pain, the hurt on her face.
“I’m not fucking done,” I snap at her. She glares at me, but thankfully she shuts her mouth and I can continue. I’m giving away far too much, letting her know how much control she has over me, but I’m not stopping. No, I can see how important it is, and the desperation I feel is too sharp to control. “You say you want to live, Gia, but we both know that in this life, living is never simple or easy. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to give it to you. I want to come home and be pissed you spent thousands of dollars on clothes, or shoes, or whatever else you think you fucking want. I want to come home and know you had a fucking miserable day away from me, or because someone pissed you off. I want you on my arm when I have to go to those damn charity events. I want you with me on every fucking trip, business or otherwise, and I want to see your face when you experience all the things your family kept from you. I want all your fucking firsts, Giulia.
“You know why? Because everything you do, everything you feel, everything you want in life, is mine. Mine to give. Mine to take away. Mine to heal. All of it. Did I start out wanting to take you because you intrigued me? Damn right, but you became my obsession. Nothing and no one could get me to look away from you, to get you out of my mind. Do you know how many nights I laid in my bed, jerking off to the thought of you? Knowing you were going to be mine, it was all I cared about. All I still fucking care about half the fucking time. And do you know how much that pisses me the hell off?
“I was perfectly fine before you bumped into me. Before you turned my world upside down. All from the way you looked at me, the way you smelled. The way you wormed your way under my skin so damn deep I was never going to get you out. So I stopped fighting, and I took you. I didn’t know that you were a De Luca when I took you. I didn’t take you because of your connections and what you could do for me. I took you because I fucking wanted you, and I go after what I want. And that is the exact reason I’m never going to let you go. You can run, you can fight, you can go off with another family in the hopes they protect you, but it won’t matter.” I let her see the truth in my eyes as I stared at her shocked face. “I will kill any man who touches you, Giulia De Luca. I will do it with a smile on my face. My obsession hasn’t lessened since I brought you here, it’s only grown stronger. And not one person or thing on this planet will take you away from me. So I would think very carefully before you do something stupid and try to leave with the Caruso’s. Because I won’t hesitate to kill them all. You are mine. You will be by my side, as my wife, as soon as I can get the paperwork together.”
Her mouth is gaping open as she stares at me. I hadn’t been planning on telling her about the marriage part, since I know that I’m going to have to ease her into that, but I don’t give a damn. I’m done playing games, and when it comes to the possibility of her leaving, I want her fully aware of what the consequences will be.
Finally, she closes her mouth, blinks, and manages to get out, “And I don’t have a say in any of this?”
“No.”
Anger flashes over her face. “So you didn’t listen to a thing I said. You’re only talking about what you want, what you plan on doing. Not what I want. Or how I feel. Did you ever think that maybe I don’t want to be a wife? A mother? An anything to any man? That I want to be just by myself?”
“That’s not how this life works. You were born into this life, and so was I. There is no point in crying about it. We can’t change it. You will never be able to walk freely on the streets and marry or not marry whoever you want, Gia. Maybe if people didn’t know who you are, but people in your father’s organization talked, your brother and uncle bartered for you, and now people do. They will know what you look like soon enough. And someone will take you, they will force you to marry someone they choose, and that will be the end.”
I know my words are hard, probably a bit mean, but I won’t hold my punches. I want her to understand just what is going to happen.
“I know that,” she yells, frustration making her voice thick. “But it’s not wrong of me to dream. It’s not wrong for me to want something I’ve never had before. I just want to be able to make my own decisions. I want to know I don’t have to answer to anyone for every little thing I do. I don’t want to be under lock and key the rest of my life. I want to travel, I want friends, I want to have a semblance of a normal life.” The despair, the disappointment, in her eyes has my anger washing away almost completely.
I reach out and haul her into my arms. She doesn’t fight me, but she also doesn’t look at me. I cup her chin and turn her face to mine. “You will have all those things. Maybe not right away until I figure out what the hell to do about your family, but I will give you everything I possibly can, Gia. I’m not going to lie and say I’m not a selfish prick and that I won’t try and control shit, because that’s who I am, and I need to know you’re safe. But if you want to go shopping, then you’ll be able to go. You’ll have guards to see to your safety, but we’ll figure it out. I want you happy,topolina, but I want you safe more. And it’s going to take us time to figure it out, but we’ll get there. It’s going to take time, patience, and some compromise, but we can do it.”
“Compromise,” she repeats, staring at me. “Do you even know what that word means?”
She lets out a yelp when I let go of her chin and bring my hand to slap her hard on the ass. She glares up at me, rubbing it. “Sass will get you spanked,topolina,” I warn her. “I will compromise on things that don’t involve your safety, or you leaving me. Then that word will vanish from my vocabulary, and there is nothing you can do or say that will change that.”
She opens her mouth to argue, but then shuts it, seemingly realizing the futility of that. Instead, she eyes me for a moment, swallows hard, and then says, “You confuse me Nico, and I don’t know how to feel about it.”
“Well, that makes two of us then,” I say drily.
She rolls her eyes. “I’m being serious. I’m pissed at you, but I want to believe you at the same time. It’s not like we have a lot of practice just being a normal couple. I’m your prisoner, and I—”
“You’re not my prisoner,” I interrupt her.
“So you’re going to let me leave the house and go into town and go shopping or something like a normal person?” she challenges. I’m silent at that. “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” she huffs, struggling now against me.
I tighten my hold, stilling her efforts. “And you’re asking the impossible right now. Your family is looking for you. Whoever your uncle promised you to is on their way to find you. There are people waiting to grab you the moment you show your face. So no, I’m not going to let you leave and walk out those doors to do mundane tasks. Because I will not allow you to put yourself in danger. Once this is sorted, fine, but until then, you need to stay inside this house, and on the grounds, until it’s safe.”
I know she wants to argue, but I also know she sees the truth in my words. “I just want to feel like I’m free, Nico. I may not be, but I want to be able to have choices, and right now, it feels like that will never happen.”
“It will,topolina,” I promise her. “It will, and I’ll happily show you. But right now, you are in danger, and I will do whatever I have to to make sure that you are safe. Even if that means you are pissed at me for a while. Hell, even if you hate me. There are far too many things that could go wrong and I will never let anything sway me when it comes to your safety.”
“And when this is all over? What are your plans with me?”
I bite back a sound of impatience. “Apparently, you haven’t been listening,topolina. So you best be listening this time because I won’t repeat myself again. You are mine. That means that you will live here for the rest of your life, with me, in my bed, taking care of the children we have, and showing them the love we never got from our parents. We’re going to fight, we’re going to scream and yell at each other, and we’re going to live the life we want. That means, you’re going to have my ring on your finger as fast as I can manage it, and then we’ll figure out the rest as it comes.”
She stares up at me. “So, what, you love me?” she asks carefully.
That gives me pause. Do I love her? It’s not a normal concept for me. After all, my parents didn’t love me, and love isn’t an emotion that I care all that much about. So I’m honest with her. “I don’t know if I love you,” I say after a moment. Hurt and disappointment slice across her face before she can mask them. But I’m not done. “I’ve never been loved, so I don’t know how to recognize that kind of emotion. I know that I want to see you when I wake up and when I go to sleep. I think about you all damn day, and I know that when I bury myself inside you, it feels so fucking perfect I never want to leave. I know that I want to see you smile and laugh, and I want to kill anyone and everything if you start to cry. Is that love? I have no fucking idea, but I’m sure you can teach me soon enough.”
She looks up at me, and I wait for her reaction. I’m not a fucking poet, and I never plan on being one. Who she sees is who she gets, and if she needs flowery words, I don’t know that I’ll be able to give them to her. Actions speak louder than words in our way of life, and I don’t see any reason it doesn’t apply to this as well.
