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I don’t reply to that, but I feel like there is more to that statement. I hear Dante give an annoyed sigh and I look at him in surprise. “What they are also not saying,” he tells me bluntly, “is that no matter who you marry, you will also have a target on your back because of who you become.” I can feel my eyes widen. Wait, what? “If you marry Nico, you are going to have other families that see you as a way to get the power or positions they want from Nico. If you marry Alessio, you will be in the same position, but with families overseas seeing you as a way to take down the mighty Caruso family. If somehow you were forced to marry into another family, then you will be in the same position with them, because more than likely, they have picked people with many enemies, and there is a good chance that they will let you die before they would think about rescuing you. There are millions of women in the world, and you are expendable,” he tells me, not harshly, but the words are like a blow.
Alessio curses. “Why are you purposely scaring her?” he demands, following with a quick rapid fire of Italian curses.
“I’m not scaring her, but I refuse to let anyone sugarcoat this shit,” Dante replies firmly. “Gia, you need to make an informed decision, and leaving shit out leaves you at a disadvantage. Especially one that could result in you making one that will take you far from here, and put you in another possibly dangerous situation, when you think you’re going somewhere to live a free and clear life.”
And that is exactly what I was thinking. I swallow hard at the disappointment that brims. “Oh,” I whisper.
Dante gives me an understanding look. “I’m going to level with you, Gia,” he continues. “I know Nico has told you this, but he’s not here, and I’m going to be as straight with you as I can. You and I, we were both born into worlds we didn’t ask to be, and we really didn’t want to be. Now, I’m in a different position than you, but even if I want to get out of this life, I never can. All because my father is a fucking bastard and raped my mother, someone who worked for him and his family. The problem is that while my father never acknowledges me as his son, he wanted more soldiers.
“I tried to run away multiple times growing up, tired of the beatings and pain, until I finally understood I was never going to get out. I had two choices. I could die and leave my mother alone, to pay for my sins, or I could accept it and make sure I was so damn good at what I did that I would have my choice of where to go. I love my mother and will never abandon her, so I accepted my fate and did what I had to. I became so damn good at my job that people took notice, and then Nico offered me a job with him. I was able to use my skills and information to get out from under my father and do what I wanted. But that was my choice. He never claimed me as his son or part of the family, and that meant when I requested to be relieved, he had very little recourse. Especially considering who Nico is and how much he wanted that tie to him.
“So I’m here, years later, and this is where I’ll stay. I’m going to be forever in this world, but I get to choose my place in it. And you now have that same choice. You will always be a De Luca. No matter how much you try to change your appearance or your name. If you leave, someone will eventually find you and connect the dots, and then that freedom you’ve craved will be gone. Women in this world don’t have a lot of power, so until that changes, you are at the mercy of the men around you. You can marry Nico, Alessio, or another man of your choosing, or you can risk everything, possibly your life, by running. If, after you weigh all of that and figure out what you want, I’ll do everything I can to help you, if I need to. And that includes handling Nico who may lose his shit depending on your choice. But I will say that Nico is damn gone for you, and has been since he laid eyes on you, so he’s going to do whatever he can to keep you with him.”
This is probably the most Dante has ever spoken to me, but I’m listening carefully. I suppose in some ways he’s right, our situations are similar. It still angers me deeply I’ll never get to be truly free, but at the same time, that’s a foolish, childish dream. The mafia will always exist, and even if it’s not Italian, there will be other factions, and I have no idea what I would be up against. I still can’t resist saying to him, “I have spent my entire life wanting freedom and to be normal, Dante. Maybe I can have that if I go with Alessio.”
He glances at Pietro and Alessio before he looks back at me. “And what makes you think that you can’t have that here?”
“I want to be able to go out and enjoy my life without having to report to someone,” I say in exasperation. “Maybe free isn’t the right word, but I want to have choices.”
“And you think it will be different with them? You are still going to need guards there. You’ll need to let them know where you’re going. Especially since you’ll be in a country where you will know no one else,” he finishes.
“But I am not an ogre, and I will not demand to know who you are with and what you are doing, Gia,” Alessio butts in to try and reassure me. “You will be able to have friends and shop. To do all the things women love to do. And I won’t ask much of you other than to be by my side when I need you and to eventually have children with me when you’re ready.”
“And if I never want to have children?” I can’t help but ask.
Alessio pauses, which tells me he wasn’t expecting that answer at all. “I suppose that is a discussion we would need to have at some point then,” he finally replies carefully, though we both know how it would go. He’s the heir for his father’s position, which means he needs to produce a few for when he’s gone, and that decision will happen no matter what I want. I doubt he would ever force me, but when it comes to heirs, mafia men don’t play around.
So now the question is, which devil do I choose? The one I’ve just met and is promising me the things I want to hear and some of the freedom and choices I’ve always wanted? Or the one that wants to keep me under lock and key, but also is showing me things I never realized I wanted? It should be an easy decision, but I have a feeling it’s going to be far from it.
“I think I need to think about this,” I tell them all. “It’s…It’s a lot to process.”
“Of course,cara mia,” Pietro says immediately. “But I will offer one piece of advice.” He takes my hand in his and pats it. “A woman’s husband is for life, and you must be happy in your decision. Sometimes love and devotion are not enough to make a marriage happy. Things change, people change, and then you are left in a union that leaves you unhappy and feeling defeated.” There are shadows in his eyes, and it makes me wonder what Pietro himself has gone through. But then they clear, and he smiles again. “But it can also be what makes a marriage and a lifetime commitment fun and exciting for you both. Especially when you are heading for the same goals. So do not make a choice on what you want now. Make a choice on what you want in the future, and who is the one who will help you get there? Who will do whatever it takes to make you happy and to be there when times are hard? Because this life is for the strong, not those who cannot make decisions and stick to them. Our world will eat you up and spit you out, as they say. So be sure,cara mia, when you are making your choice because it will not be one you can take back later.”
I know he’s right, and I nod, my mind whirling with all kinds of thoughts and possibilities. Is Nico that person? Is Alessio? Is someone else the person I can see myself beside. My instant reaction is Nico, but is that only because I haven’t given any other man a chance? Perhaps it would be worth it to spend time with Alessio to see if we’d make a good match. I eye the other man and then turn to Pietro and Dante and say, “I’d like to speak to Alessio alone, please?”
“No,” Dante says instantly, while Alessio and Pietro look surprised at my request.
“I will not make a decision until I can,” I tell Dante stubbornly. “So I can either do it now when you’ll be right outside the door, or I can do it when you and Nico are too busy to care where I am.” It’s a surefire way to get my point across.
Dante levels a hard look at me. “Nico is going to kick my ass if I leave you in here alone with him.”
“We both know you’re not afraid of him, so I don’t know why you’re using that excuse. And we also both know that Alessio isn’t going to harm me.”
Dante doesn’t reply to that. Instead, he stares at me for a long, tense moment before he turns to Alessio and warns, “You may be a Caruso, but I will kill you and smile while doing it if you do anything to her.”
Alessio’s gaze goes hard. “I’m going to choose to overlook that insult this time, but do it again, and I will kill you where you stand,” he warns. Dante isn’t the least bit fazed and, instead, gives Alessio a lethal smile.
“No one is going to be killing anyone,” I say quickly, giving them both an annoyed glare. I look at Pietro and ask, “Is it always going to be like this?”
Pietro chuckles. “Cara mia, you have no idea. This is a normal day. Now, Dante and I will leave you be, but you will sing out if you need anything. I’ll have my men hold back our host as well, since I’m sure he’s not going to be too pleased with the situation.” Then he walks for the door with a jerk of his head to Dante.
Dante is a bit slower going, but he looks at me and says, “I’ll be right outside the door. And if Nico kills me, I’ll be back to haunt you.” Then he follows Pietro out, leaving me alone with Alessio.
I wince when I hear Nico’s angry voice coming muffled through the door, but then I put it out of my mind as I look at Alessio. And I decide in that moment I’m done beating around the bush. If I’m going to be making such an important decision, then I want honesty. “Do you actually want to marry me, Alessio?” I ask him bluntly.
Alessio doesn’t react to my question, but I see something flash in his eyes. Amusement? Shock? I’m not sure, but it’s enough to know he’s not unaffected either way by that question. But I’ll give him credit that he doesn’t try to skirt around my question and replies, “I don’t know. I don’t know much about you, but I think you’re beautiful, and from what I can see, we would probably be compatible.” Then he gives me a knowing smile. “But I also know you’re not really interested in me anyway. You have your eyes on someone else, but you’re doubting yourself because now you’re thinking you’re crazy for wanting to stay with the man who’s kidnapped you.”
I blink at him. Alright, so we’ll add astute to Alessio’s list of qualities. “And am I crazy?”
