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I’m out of suppressants.
Rune didn’t seem to want to admit he was having trouble getting more, and it makes sense why he would. They can’t go to a specialist omega doctor to get them without Lawrence finding out. And finding a black market dealer has to be even more treacherous than it would be with Lawrence’s fifty-thousand-dollar reward for my return.
If anyone even suspects that I’m here with Pack Ashe, Lawrence would bring the full force of the Councilandthe Omega Institute on their heads.
My eyes travel to my closed closet door. I itch with the need to burrow deep into the thick blankets, swaddle myself in soft coziness, and pretend the rest of the world doesn’t exist.
Yesterday started off as one of the worst days of my life. I learned things about myself, about Anna Jackson, and about the world that made me physically sick.
I thought I would never be able to sleep, think, or forget those things.
Rune, Cian, and Kylian made sure I drifted off to sleep with a smile on my face instead of tears on my cheeks.
I want to return to the home theater for more Pack Ashe cozy. It was like one massive hug down there. But not alone. I want three alphas wrapped around me, adding to all that coziness.
Not to snuggle. That isn’t what I want.
My cheeks grow flushed with what Idowant. Naked skin, entwined limbs, potent kisses, and alpha knots stretching my—
I frown as a thought occurs to me. A disturbing one.
Lifting my hands to my cheeks, my frown deepens. My cheeks are flushed, I’m burning up, and the air is ripe with my vanilla-coconut omega pheromones.
The empty glass dish beside my bed mocks me.
Cian didn’t come back with any suppressants. I’m all out, and with the way I’m feeling, my heat is knocking on the door of tomorrow or the day after. Soon, in other words. Too soon for me not to have decided exactly what I’m going to do.
Stay or go.
“Shower,” I breathe. “Wash the feeling away.”
But I know it won’t. It’s not the first time I’ve sought relief when I tried to hide my approaching heat from Lawrence. This time, I’m not trying to hide it. Just buy myself some thinking time. I have a feeling this decision will be a permanent one, and I’m not sure I’m ready—or willing—to commit to permanent with anyone.
Maybe ever.
It takes longer than it usually would to strip the clothes off my body. When cotton brushes my aching nipples, I’m reminded of Cian pulling my apron strings. The fabric cupped my breasts, made my breath catch the way it is now.
I stand naked on cold tile in a beautiful, sumptuous bathroom, cupping my aching breasts and wishing it were Cian holding them instead of me.
When I glimpse my reflection in the long mirror over the sinks, my cheeks are pink and my pupils are large. Aroused.
“The shower.” I hurry myself to it as I speak. “Now.”
A blast of cold water does nothing to quell the growing ache between my legs.
I twist the faucet, waiting for the water to heat up, and then press my face against the marble wall. And I stroke my hand downward, my fingers delving between my thighs to ease the ache in a more enjoyable way than a shivering cold shower.
It won’t stop the heat, but it’ll take the edge off for a little while at least. If I told Rune, Cian, or Kylian how I was feeling, they’d probably get themselves in trouble hunting down more suppressants for me.
Suppressants that won’t work because Anna Jackson drugged me for years.
I’ve reached the point I need to decide. Do I stay with Pack Ashe and let them help me through my heat? But then what about after my heat has passed? Hali said Nancy’s housekeeper job was only supposed to be temporary. Six years later, she’s still here.
Am I ready and willing to embrace years—build afuture—with three alphas when all I wanted when I ran from Lawrence was to be alone?
Or do I go and find the quiet life free from alphas that I spent the last year craving?
Leaving doesn’t feel the least bit appealing when I think of snuggling with Kylian, dancing with Cian, or watching Rune cook for me.
