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CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
MAVEN
I whirled around to face him, still clutching the photo frame. “Snooping around, apparently. I can’t believe you have this.”
He glanced at the picture in my hand and frowned. “Why wouldn’t I have it? You’re the one who left me, remember? I never stopped loving you, Mave.”
My hand began to shake, and I set the photo down on the desk. “I left you because you almost got me killed, remember? Do you think I wanted to leave?”
There was no doubt that Maddox and I were long overdue for a serious talk. A conversation I’d never be ready to have. His frown morphed into a scowl. I didn’t get the feeling that this would go well.
“What do you want from me? I told you that I was sorry. What else can I do?” Maddox demanded, coming to snatch up the photo. Waving it around in one hand, he paced over to the balcony door before turning back to face me. “This was one of the happiest days of my life. Being with you, having a good time. Being fucking normal. It’s my favorite picture of us. Looking at it every day helped me convince myself that our bond was too strong for you to stay away.”
Maddox’s words came in a rush. They bombarded me with emotion, chipping away at the stone surrounding my heart.
“Are you sorry?” I asked. “Or just guilty? Because they’re not the same thing.”
Muscles twitched in Maddox’s clenched jaw. He shoved a hand through his hair and released a frustrated sigh. “I’ve been sorry every fucking second since they took you. I fucked up. I know that, and there isn’t one goddamn day that I don’t wish I could go back and do things differently. I don’t expect you to forgive me, Maven. I don’t deserve that.”
Tears welled in my eyes, and I furiously blinked them away. It killed me to hear him say that. Sure I wanted him to be sorry. I didn’t want him to torture himself, did I?
“It felt like a betrayal,” I confessed, sharing a truth I’d carried for so long. “Like you chose vengeance over the safety of the rest of us. Like you chose it over me.”
Maddox studied me, his shoulders slumping at the tears I tried not to shed. “I know. I’m sorry. If I could go back and do it all over again… but I can’t. All I can do is keep you safe now.”
“It’s not that simple though,” I said with a shake of my head. “You can’t always keep me safe. I can’t be imprisoned here just to make you feel better. That’s fucked, Mads. Doing better going forward is the only option.”
“That’s what I’m trying to do.” Maddox crossed the room back to where I stood. He leaned in close as he put the photo down. “I said that I won’t let anyone hurt you, and I meant it.”
“What about you though?” I challenged, hating the way his spicy masculine scent of incense and leather got inside my head. “Who will make sure that you don’t hurt me?”
Dark mischief gleamed in his eyes as he flashed me a wicked grin. Maddox stroked a finger beneath my chin and leaned in to brush his lips against mine. “From what I remember, you fucking love it when I hurt you. Or have you gone soft on me, Vixen?”
“Never,” I heard myself whisper. My body responded to his proximity by breaking out in goosebumps. I may have been Maddox’s weakness, but he was mine too.
Inwardly, I cursed myself for my inability to resist him. It had been so long since we’d been together. Despite how angry I was about being here against my will, I still wanted him.
Maddox teased a kiss before pulling away. He shoved me against the wall and pressed his mouth to my neck instead, biting hard enough to wrench a gasp from me. A shock of desire reminded me how long it had been since I’d had him inside me. Too fucking long.
“This isn’t going to fix anything.” My voice almost failed me as I desperately tried to talk myself out of spreading my legs for Maddox.
“You don’t know that,” he replied between bites and kisses along my neck and shoulder. “It might fix everything.”
Physically I wanted him almost painfully. Emotionally I wasn’t ready to face that level of intimacy. I didn’t know if I could handle it after all this time. I wrestled with both sides of me, afraid that if I let this happen, I’d never have the strength to leave again. Not that I planned to leave. I just didn’t know if I planned to stay. Maddox was making this all so much harder.
“You can’t force me to be here, Maddox. It has to be my choice.” I needed him to remember that we’d been partners once. Part of a team.
Maddox raised his head to fix me with a dazzling blue stare. One finger traced the outline of my jaw. “Ruthless left you here alone, and instead of taking off, you decided to break into my bedroom. Why didn’t you leave when you had the chance?”
Son of a bitch. Annoyed that he caught me on that one, I roughly pushed him back and shoved away from the wall. “I’m looking for a place to rent. As soon as I find something, I’ll be gone.”
“Uh huh. We’ll see about that.” Maddox made a playful grab for me, chuckling when I stepped out of reach. “You’re not going anywhere.”
“Why is it that I can’t be in the same room with you for even five minutes without wanting to slap you? You’re even more of an overbearing, possessive ass than you used to be.” I edged toward the door, prepared to run like hell and lock myself in the bathroom for a cold shower. Too easily he got inside my head.
“Go ahead and slap me then.” Spreading his arms wide, Maddox invited my anger. “I’m not sure why you’re holding back. The Vixen I remember would’ve knocked my ass out by now.”
“Oh please. I never knocked you out, although I should have several times.” I had knocked out other people, but never him. We’d never hurt each other like that. Only in the bedroom. With a roll of my eyes, I braced for him to make a move. I felt it coming.
