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“I couldn’t complete the repair.” Eddie tugged at the handle but with Shade holding the door closed, she had little chance of opening it. She could always use her hell strength, but she didn’t like what happened to her when she did.
“The repair drained you, Eddie.” Shade’s breath caressed the shell of her ear and created goosebumps all down her neck and arms. “And I am not able to link with you like Wrath did. I can’t help you, Eddie, and I can’t risk you draining yourself.”
If that’s even what he meant. “It’s not your decision. As you are all so quick to point out, I’m Nephilim. I’m the only one who can do this.”
“But that doesn’t mean you’re expendable, Eddie.” His hands dropped to her hips. “Not to me anyway.”
It was tough to remember he was lust personified, and she couldn’t trust what she felt for him when he said things like that. “I have to at least try.”
Shade sighed and pressed his head against hers. “You’re so stubborn, Eddie.”
“Blame my father.” She needed to get away from him and get her rampaging emotions under control again.
His grip on her hips tightened. “I’m not talking about the seal now, Eddie. Well, not just the seal.”
“What then?” Her heart started an uneven pound against her breastbone.
“Us.” He brushed his lips against her temple. “The way you don’t trust me.”
Her response was automatic and Canadian politeness at its dumbest. “I trust you.”
“No, you don’t.” His raspy chuckle vibrated against her shoulder blades. “You have decided because of who and what I am, that this is only about sex for me.”
“It’s not that.” And honesty compelled her to be more specific. “Not only that.”
He pressed his nose into her neck and drew in a deep breath. “Tell me.”
She’d do anything he asked when he used that tender, hoarse note in his voice, and that was part of the problem. “It’s me when I’m with you. How do I know if anything I feel is real and not just lust?”
Shade stilled and then sighed. “It comes down to trust, I guess, and I haven’t exactly done much to earn that from you.”
Or had he? Certainly, Shade had done some highly questionable fucking shit when he’d first arrived, but after that, she wasn’t so sure. It was all too confusing. “Can we just focus on the seals?”
He sighed and let her go. “Okay, Eddie. Let’s get that out of the way, and then we can talk.”
“Okay.” She yanked open the bathroom door and scuttled inside. Once safely on the other side, she shut the door behind her and leaned against it. It took several deep breaths before she felt calm enough to carry on getting dressed. That conversation she’d promised to have with Shade, she was nowhere near ready to have. Maybe he’d forget about it. Yeah, probably not, but you had to have dreams.
Shade stared at the closed bathroom door and quelled his desire to kick it off its hinges. The shower went on, and he pictured Eddie slowly peeling her clothes off and getting beneath the warm water.
“Fuck.” He pressed his forehead against the door and breathed deep. His own seal strength was biting him in the ass. For certain, he could go in there and draw lust, send it out in ever strengthening tendrils until Eddie was powerless to resist him.
But Eddie was right about that, and he had never taken a being against their will. He’d used his lust to draw healing strength from beings, like he had with Lillian in the theatre. He’d even used it to manipulate an outcome, and definitely used it to cause trouble amongst his fellow supernaturals. But he’d always stopped short of taking advantage of the lust he engendered and using it to take a being whose sexual will was not their own.
And because he had never known without doubt that it was him and not his lust ability that beings craved, he had lived a lonely existence. While his fellow hell princes slaked their lust with each other, high order demons, an angel or two, and apparently humans, he lived more chaste than them all. Not a soul would believe him if he told them, so he didn’t, and allowed their perceptions to color him as the conscienceless debaucher of innocents, the great seducer.
And now he was paying the price, both for this seal and for his apathy in correcting assumptions.
Bathed and dressed, Eddie met Shade and Dee in Wrath’s throne room. Only to find Shade already there with a full horde, all of them armed and looking ready to travel.
In the center of the room, legs akimbo, arms folded, Shade and Wrath stood glaring at each other.
“They’re arguing.” Dee rolled her eyes. “Just for a change.”
Eyeing the bellicose pair, Eddie chose discretion. “Want to give me the Cliff Notes?”
“Shade wants to take you back to the theatre.” She waved her arm to indicate a horde to the left. “And those are his goon squad.” Her arm circled over to the right. “And on this side, we have Wrath’s goon squad. Both are vehement that they alone should be allowed to protect you.”
And this for a woman who’d made a life out of doing things for herself. “Oh, boy.”
