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“Bums on seats, people.” Rodney threw his hands up—the only sane man in a world gone mad. “It’s all about bums on seats.”
“But maybe we could go for even more…er…bums on seats,” Bianca said. “Shakespeare is always popular. Wonderful name recognition.”
Eddie gave her points for not flinching on the words bums on seats, but the mention of Shakespeare had her paying closer attention. They didn’t do Shakespeare at the Paradise Players because Dee steered their ship away from the bard and with damn—pun intended—good reason.
“Shakespeare.” Peter stared into the middle distance where visions of directorial brilliance sparkled. “Everybody loves Shakespeare.”
“Our audience doesn’t come for Shakespeare,” Rodney sputtered.
“No, they don’t.” Eddie added her two cents before they got too far down the Shakespeare road.
“But, Rodders.” Lillian dimpled at him. “Don’t you think it’s time to challenge ourselves?” She pressed a hand to her chest. “I, for one, would relish the challenge.” Tossing a smile at Peter, she added, “Not that I don’t love playing Gwendolyn, babe, because you know I do.”
“The reason The Importance of Being Earnest works, Lillian, is because it’s a comedy and people like comedy,” Rodney snarled. “We sell out every year. A comedy. Light, frothy, not too demanding of our community actors and lots of bright costumes. We keep to what we can do without screwing it up.”
Rodney had been so close and blown it on the finish. Much like Eddie’s last boyfriend. How long ago had that been exactly? A year, two. Jesus, it could not be three years since she’d gotten any action. Three years? Except her desiccated lady garden begged to differ. Three. Fucking. Years. No wonder she was creating dream sex gods.
Had she really just called her vagina the lady garden?
“Excuse me, Rodders.” Lillian drew back, leaking afront and wounded sensibilities. “I believe that some of us at the Paradise Players could, indeed, rise to a greater demand without screwing it up.” The last three words were spewed out of her puckered, bright red mouth with venom and accompanied by a side of death stare.
Patty grunted. “Too old for Ophelia.”
“I am not too old for Ophelia.” Lillian glowered at Patty.
Patty shrugged and started another row.
“Maybe we can come to a compromise.” Bianca smiled.
Even Lillian settled down from rapid boil to vigorous simmer.
“Maybe.” Bianca leaned her elbows on the table and kept that smile radiating. “We could compromise by starting with Shakespeare this year and do Earnest later in the season?” She shrugged. “After all, the company knows it so well, it wouldn’t need much rehearsal time at all. And we already have all the sets and costumes.”
Rodney opened his mouth to argue and then shut it again. “That doesn’t sound too revolutionary.”
“And.” Bianca’s indigo eyes gleamed. “This year is a kind of Shakespearian anniversary. Wonderful promo opportunities. It’s the four hundredth anniversary of the publication of the folio with all his plays. And it wouldn’t have to be one of the longer plays.”
The alert button in Eddie’s gut started to chatter. No reason to overreact yet. Shakespeare had penned a lot of plays before and after the Scottish one. All was not lost yet, or to keep it topical, all could still end well. “I agree with Rodney, people like comedies. So why not combine the two ideas and have a Shakespearean comedy? I’ve always liked A Midsummer Night’s Dream. That’s a comedy.”
“Hmmm.” Peter tapped his top lip. “Midsummer is a marvelous romp.”
“It is.” Bianca nodded enthusiastically. “Except.” Her face fell and she looked at Lillian apologetically. “Are the female roles as strong as we would like?”
“Fucking fairies,” Patty muttered.
“The Taming of the Shrew has a great female role.” Eddie couldn’t believe she’d suggested that, but sue her, she didn’t think fast on her feet.
Peter gave her the look of astonishment she’d deserved. “Eddie!” He shuddered. “Shrew is so not appropriate in today’s world.”
“Kate is abused.” Lillian sniffed.
“Twelfth Night?” Eddie had to keep them away from the tragedies and far, far away from that one specific tragedy.
“The tragedies are where the real acting chops lie.” Bianca led them all down the path Eddie didn’t want them on. “And we can all agree that our Lillian would thrive on a challenge.”
Dee had brought this shit stirrer into their midst. Dee who should have known better. Dee who had left her with very few instructions but had reiterated the one Eddie had known since childhood. They could never, ever, do the Scottish play.
Eddie’s alert button wailed into a full-blown siren.
