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“What’s wrong?” Her face tells me what mine must look like.
“Um…” I don’t even know where to begin. “Apparently, the real owners of the house next door just got home. Whoever was staying there before wasn’t supposed to be there.”
“What? Seriously?” she asks, shaking her head. “How did they get in?”
“I have no idea,” I say.
Memphis moves past us and refills his coffee mug. “Doesn’t matter. At this point, we all just need to move on. They said to leave them alone. They obviously don’t want our help. So I say we just let it go.”
I know he’s really talking to me. Telling me to let it go.
I want to tell him I can’t. To take back whatever moment we had in that house. I’m so angry with him for not…
Truth is, I don’t know what I’m angry with him for or what else I expect him to do. I just know I’m angry.
“What’s going on?” Austin asks, walking into the room with an empty plate that he places in the sink.
“The neighbors—theactualneighbors, apparently—just got here and told us to butt out of their business,” Memphis says.
“Jesus,” Austin mutters. “Really?”
“What jerks.” Mara pulls me into her side. “I’m sorry, Lena. We all know you were just trying to help.”
I shrug one shoulder. “It just doesn’t make any sense. I saw her.” Bitter tears prick my eyes once again, and I hate them and hate myself for them and hate this and hate everything. “I saw her with blood on her shirt. I saw her fall down. I know it… I know.”
She rubs my back. “We believe you.”
“But no one else does. The police don’t. How are we going to help her if no one seems to know she exists?” I bury my face in my hands, so angry with myself for losing it right now. All I wanted to do was help.
“What do you want to eat?” Austin asks, opening a cabinet. “Everything’s easier with a full stomach. Cereal? Toast? Oatmeal? Name it, and I’ll make it.” He looks guiltily at Mara. “And if it’s too complicated, Mara will make it.”
I laugh despite my tears. “I’m okay.”
“You need to eat,” Memphis says, his voice gruff. He opens a cabinet and pulls out the bag of Starbursts. “Here. Breakfast of champions.”
“I’ll make you some toast,” Mara says, eyeing the bag with disgust. “At least a few bites. You need something in your belly.”
I don’t argue, but I do pull out a Starburst and pop one in my mouth. Maybe it’s a bad habit, but candy always makes me feel better. Besides, the thought of eating anything of actual substance when there are still so many unanswered questions makes me feel sick. Memphis hands me a mug of coffee without a word, and I take a sip of it, the warmth spreading throughout my body in an instant.
A few minutes later, Mara hands me a plate of toast, carefully smothered with butter and jam, and we join Logan and Paulette at the table.
Today, Paulette has a shirt on with a grinning opossum that saysI’m not like other girls. I’m worse.and a pair of yoga pants with hot dogs on them.Logan sits next to her, holding her hand on the tabletop. They don’t seem to notice we’ve entered the room until we sit down at the table.
Apparently, last night went really well for them.
Bitterness swells in my gut, and I’m disgusted with it.
Why should I not be happy for my friends?
Why don’t they care that a woman is dead?
“I think we should focus on why we came,” Mara says, keeping her voice gentle once we’ve sat down. “I know this weekend hasn’t exactly gone as expected, but we came to read and hang out and relax. We still need to do some of the collaborations we’ve talked about, and we leave tomorrow morning, so we’re running out of time.” She looks at me, rubbing my arm. “But you tell us what you need, Lena. We’re here for you. I’d just hate to see you leave this place regretting not getting to do whatever you wanted to. I’d hate to see these people ruin your vacation. I know how important it was to you.”
She’s right. This weekend was meant to be my first step back to independence. I’d saved up for it and pinned my hopes on what it would do to lift my spirits and get me back in a good place.
And now this.
“You’re right,” I say softly.
