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But I don't tell her that.
Instead, I scratch the back of my neck and say, "The Santa waffles are cute."
Lily laughs, her eyes sparkling. "I thought it might be a fun breakfast since Christmas is just three days away. Besides, Ava is a big fan."
As I pour myself a cup of coffee, Lily moves towards the refrigerator, pulling out a plate covered with aluminum foil.
"Made these for you earlier," She says. Then she sets the plate down on the counter and peels back the foil to reveal a serving of eggs and hashbrowns. "I know you don't care much for waffles. But I thought you might be hungry after your shift."
This girl.
"Thanks, sweetheart. You didn't have to do that."
She gives me a sweet smile, the kind that reaches her luminescent green eyes and lights up the room. "No problem. It's the least I could do." Then she turns her attention to the small blonde whirlwind at the counter. "Alright, Ava. It's time to get washed up so we can all have breakfast together."
Her tone is firm but gentle, the perfect balance that Ava responds to. Lily's ability to effortlessly manage these morning routines never ceases to amaze me.
Lily has been an invaluable part of our team for almost a year now. She started working for me right after Ava, and I moved to Cooper Hills. In the beginning, I tried to handle the single dad thing on my own, but I soon realized I needed assistance. It was perfect timing because Lily had recently graduated from college and moved from Boseman to be closer to her sister.
I honestly don't know how Ava and I got so lucky. Lily is the perfect nanny. She's attentive, nurturing, and seems to know exactly what we need. What I need.
And what I need is her.
Over the last year, I've fallen completely in love with Lily. But I could never tell her that. She's far too good for someone like me.
I glance down at the scar on my left arm, the lingering gift from the fire that ruined my marriage. The fire I barely got my daughter out of alive.
My fingers graze the marred skin, and I'm brought back to that night.
While I was out at work, my ex-wife had her lover at our house. They lit a candle, and somehow it caught fire. By the time I got back to the house, it was on fire. By some miracle, I managed to get Ava, his ex-wife, and her stupid lover out of the house alive.
After that, nothing was the same.
We tried to piece things back together for Ava's sake. But the trust was gone, the love extinguished.
Almost losing our lives made me realize nothing was worth staying in a broken relationship. So, I filed for divorce, got custody of Ava, and moved us out here to Cooper Hills for a fresh start.
And now here is Lily, this angel who sailed into our lives, soothing our scars, loving Ava as her own.
I want so badly to kiss her, to wrap her in my arms and never let go. But I know that if I told her how I really feel, she would never want me back. I'm too old, too damaged, too broken. I'm not worthy of her love.
So, for now, I'll keep these feelings tucked away, savoring our quiet mornings together, her melodic voice, the way she rests her hand on my shoulder when she passes. It's enough, I try to convince myself.
She's given Ava and me a gift greater than anything I could have imagined. A home filled with joy and warmth.
And maybe one day, I'll finally work up the courage to tell her what she means to me.
But not yet.
After Ava washes up, we all sit down for breakfast together. I spear a forkful of fluffy eggs as Ava chatters about her day.
"Daddy, we had a Christmas party yesterday!" She's practically bouncing with excitement.
"Is that so?" I can't help but grin. "Spill the beans, munchkin."
She dives headfirst into her story, words tumbling out in a rush. "We decorated the Christmas tree and built a gingerbread house. And Mrs. Johnson dressed up like Santa Claus!"
"A Santa suit, huh?"
