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I feel nervous as I turn down the street and look for her house. This was impulsive. The adrenaline that was pumping through my body is dying down. My impulsivity didn't allow me to think this through. Imagine if people saw me looking up and down the streets for this girl. Everyone knows everyone around here and I don’t want this to make me look like a pussy whipped little bitch. I’ll kill any rumors of that by making my little Angel scream my name loud enough that her neighbors know it’s the other way around. I finally find her house, shut off my lights and pull up to the curb. My heart is beating a hundred miles a second, and it feels like I could pass out. Damn, I’m acting like a little bitch.
I run my hands through my sweat-drenched hair and take some deep breaths. This isn’t me. I don't do this type of shit for a girl. I start to second guess my actions for the millionth time, arguing with myself about why I’m doing something so stupid and desperate.
I didn’t realize my body had ever left my car as I find myself at the bottom of her steps. Turning around to leave and walk back to my Corvette, I take one glance back at her house.
Everything stops when I see a silhouette in the window upstairs. I hope it’s her. The crickets are chirping, and the leaves are rustling on the ground around me as the wind blows. Goose bumps erupt on my skin and move like a wave from my arms, to my shoulders, and up to my neck, causing a shiver to ricochet down my spine. The timing of it all is not coincidental, because right when I glanced back and saw the silhouette of her body through the curtains, it gave me all the courage I needed to walk up to her door and knock.
11
ALEX
Today has been eventful. Who knew so much could happen in a day? We came home and just as we were about to order food, Edward shows up and whisks Cora away on a surprise date. I want my best friend to be happy, I really do, but I hate that douche. He gets on my damn nerves. He smells like cheap cologne and peppermint and the combination is nauseating. I’ll play nice, though. My version of it, anyway. I hope for his sake he does right by my best friend because I will go off on him. For her, I'd burn the world down. He isn’t prepared for Hurricane Alex.
I plug my phone into the charger and curiosity is killing me. I want to know if Kohen has texted. I go to my filtered messages and see that he has sent several. I giggle internally as butterflies flutter through my stomach. He tried to message me, yet I’m still not going to respond even if I want to. I refuse to give him the satisfaction of a response. Deciding to be a little petty, I text Xzavien instead.
Of course, X responds quickly. I start to reply when I have an unfamiliar feeling gnawing at my insides. It might be guilt. Guilt that I’m using him to make his best friend jealous. He handed me the ammo and everything I needed when he told me they were competitive, and I plan to use all of it against them. So why should I feel guilty?
Men don’t think twice when they use women. They don’t even bat an eye. They use, abuse, break, and replace. I shake my head as if that will make the ping of guilt vanish, but it doesn’t work. I don't want to hurt anyone. I decide to be honest and friend-zone him, so he knows where he stands. I look back at our texts to make sure I didn't lead him on. It’s flirty but I’m like that with everyone, so I hope he doesn’t take that as a sign of anything between us.
Me: hey X, what are you up to?
Me: just thought I’d say hi.
X: hey pretty girl! Glad to hear from you.
X: I’m a bit surprised but I’ll welcome it.
Me: surprised, why?
Me: We’re friends, right?
X: friends? Yeah, I just didn’t expect a text or anything since I saw you and Kohen talking, but like I said I want to take you out. Is that still, okay?
Me: yes of course, I really don’t know Kohen like that he just handed me a book I left behind.
X: a book he seemed adamant about taking to you himself. he snatched it out of my hand.
Me: weird.
Me: well Lmk when you wanna hang out I gtg need to shower. Ttyl
X: okay gorgeous ttyl
I hope my responses are enough for him to know we aren’t going to be anything more than friends. My mind floats to Cora. She looked so happy when Edward showed up to get her. Her radiant smile was ear to ear. She sprayed on her Daisy perfume and rushed around the room changing into something cute for her date, leaving little notes of her scent all around the room. She really does deserve all the happiness in the world.
I hope she is having fun on her date. Edward spares no expense when he spoils her because he lacks in every other area, but if he truly makes her happy, I need to try and get along with him. It became a habit of mine to push away her boyfriends since she is all I have left in this world.
I turn the water on and undress while I wait for it to warm up. The clothes fall to the floor with a plop and take the weight of the day with them. I tie my hair up into a messy bun and run my hand under the water to test the heat. It’s hot enough that it leaves my hand red- just how I like it. My ex used to joke that it must be a comfort to the little demon inside me.
I don’t even know why my mind went there.Gross. That's the last person I want on my mind.
Steam fills the restroom, rising to the ceiling and covering everything in dew, which is my cue to step into the tub. I sit in the tub and the hot water engulfs me and relaxes all the tense muscles in my body.
I hear my phone go off, interrupting the music I have playing, and I roll my eyes at whoever it is. I ignore it and close my eyes. Whoever it is can wait until I’m done. I begin to relax and then somewhere in my half-melted brain it hits me, and my eyes shoot open. That particular notification is for filtered messages. It's Kohen. He is still trying to reach me.
A little giggle slips from my lips. I look around as if anyone else could be in here to ask me why I’m laughing. It goes off a couple of more times and the anticipation builds inside me like a volcano, wanting to check what he’s sending, but I don’t. I can’t. He must know I won’t bow down at his feet like all these other little gym bunnies that follow him.
I’m not surprised when it doesn’t go off anymore, because hey, I didn’t even expect him to go this far. I can’t be that interesting to this guy. It’s not that I’m not worthy, it’s just that I’m more than sure I’m not his type. He seems like he likes them easy, and that’s one thing I will never be. I’m intelligent, strong, confident, and blessed to be beautiful inside and out.
