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Then Alex pops into my head. The way I left her, the look in her eye… My hand slips. I catch myself quickly. Someone watching probably wouldn’t even have noticed the slip, but I know. I know the way Alex has crawled into my mind and taken up space there. Space that was not readily available. Space and time I don't have to dedicate to anyone or anything. That is why I left when we were making out, the energy was intense. Like nothing I've ever felt before. I had to walk away. As much as I want her, I know I can’t have her. Like my father said, I could never make a woman happy. I don't have the time to. I need to learn to fuck 'em and dump 'em. That just isn’t me, though.
The way my mother loved me and the admiration I had for her would guilt me so deeply. I know who they think I am, who everyone in this god-forsaken town thinks I am. Kohen Ventura- the campus playboy. I am far from that, but I let them think what they want and say what they want. Girls pretend they hook up with me, knowing they didn't and I don't correct them. I don't need to. Everyone wants to be the one who makes me fall in love. I vowed to never allow myself to fall in love again. The one time I did, she made me regret it. And I will regret it for the rest of my life because I almost gave up everything for her.
Luckily, as my father would like to remind me, I found out she was cheating. The time I had to dedicate to the gym was too much, hence the conversation about never being able to make a girl happy.
He left the gymnastics team for my mother and their young love. He resented her for it until the day she died. He wasted no time replacing her and that's okay. That's his cross to bear. I loved my mother dearly and I am glad she is no longer in the arms of his wrath.
I finish my routine and dismount the bars, wiping my hands on my gym shorts but it’s no use. There is chalk everywhere, the same way sand blankets every crevice when leaving the beach. Hands on my hips, I pace the length of the mats, Alex consuming my mind again. Her luscious lips and curvy body, the way she felt so soft underneath me. Pulling me into her warm and welcoming arms… I crave her lavender-scented hair and tart perfume. That perfume has intoxicated me since the party. I need to find out what it is.
I sound absolutely batshit crazy.
Catching my breath, I walk up to my bag and grab my phone. I've been here for three hours. Time flies when you do what you love. I place the velour bag over my shoulder and wave goodbye to my team.
My team.
I wasn’t sure if I would have gotten the leadership position since I almost lost my spot on this team altogether, but I pulled through. My hard work and dedication couldn’t be wiped away by a few months of slack. I got this. Erica couldn’t hold a candle to Alex, though, so I need to be very fucking careful. She was one of the worst women to walk this earth, but she's in the past and I hope she stays there. I don't see why she would come around again since she chases rich men. Money-hungry bitch. Her constant need for attention almost killed my season.
My phone pings and it’s Alex. Like divine intervention, the universe is telling me it’s okay to have her, to be happy to live a little. But I can’t. I need to focus.
So, I ignore it. This is my dream, and I doubt this girl is serious about anything. I stuff my phone back in my bag and grab my keys so I can unlock my car. I have to run some errands before the fundraiser party tomorrow. My team is sponsoring a middle school gymnastics team so that they can travel to their final meet of the year. Some of them are heading into their high school teams so this is a pivotal time in their life and I’m happy to help. My phone pings again and suddenly I see stars. Alex Monroe sent me a naughty little picture. I want to open it but then she would know I read it and so I settle for the little thumbnail in the message preview window.
“Goddamn, Angel.” It takes all the willpower I have to ignore it, but I do, I have to. Focusing on training is detrimental to my success this season. I promised myself I'd stay on task.
Plugging the phone into the charging dock of my car, I seemessage unsentin place of where the image used to be, and I laugh.
This girl is going to be nothing but trouble. I can tell.
16
ALEX
The sun beams on my face through the window as the alarm goes off for the hundredth time, and it won’t let me snooze anymore. If I want to snooze one hundred times, I should be able to. I roll onto my side away from the blinding sun and check the time. Noon. I blink a few times to clear the fuzziness there so that I can scroll through my notifications. I manage to sneak a peek at my phone through one eye and see I have several texts from X, but still zero from Kohen. I’m annoyed but also not surprised.
Sitting up to try and wake myself up so I don’t fall back asleep, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and jump. I didn’t recognize myself with this hair. My laughter brings Cora into the room, which only scares me again. She has a pastel green clay mask on her face and self-tanner all over her body. I laugh even harder, snorting in the process.
Her confusion is adorable. “What’s so funny?”
“First of all, you look like an alien. Second, what the hell are you doing?”
“I’m prepping. I might have decided I’m going to have sex with Edward.” She exits the room quickly and I launch off my mattress to follow her. Did she say what I think she just said?
“I think I heard you incorrectly. Cora, you’re losing your virginity tonight?” I’m a little angry and I won’t let that show yet, but Edward does not deserve to take her motherfucking v card. Following her into the restroom, I see the counter cluttered with waxing products, makeup, that hideous face mask, scrubs, and lotions.
“You heard correctly.”
“What the fuck is all this? Do you have twenty other girls hidden in here somewhere? Because this is enough beauty products to prepare a whole cheer squad for you to lose your virginity.”
“You know I like to be prepared. I want everything perfect.”
“It isn’t going to be perfect because Edward is an asshole.”
“He treats me good and he’s nice”
“But do you love him, Cora? You always said you wanted to wait until you were going to get married. Why change your mind now? Is he pressuring you? I’ll kick his fucking ass.”
“No, it is my decision. He doesn’t even know yet.”
“Pfft.”
