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“I don’t know. What could be different? He was nice to us so I’m being nice to him, that's it.” Even I don't believe myself.Fuck! What the fuck do I do?
“If you say so, Alex Monroe. You can lie to me all you want but stop lying to yourself, babe. You deserve better than that…Angel.”She busts out laughing and I grab a pillow and throw it at her face.
“Goodnight, Cora. I love you, don't scream for me when Ghostface comes to kill you.”
“Oh, don't worry. I won’t. He can stab me with his dagger any day, so hot.”
We truly are fucked up. I just don't know which one of us is more fucked up- her for loving a fictional character who murders people, or me for falling for a real guy, who’s good to me.
I walk up the stairs smiling. I can’t wait to sleep. The bedroom door is cracked open, the light from the hall hitting the center of my bed perfectly. I have a small fear of the dark, so I always leave it cracked like that and I placed my bed strategically for the light to hit the center. I stand in the doorway and admire the strong sexy man in my bed. I hate him.
He is so handsome and kind that it pisses me off. I thought he was just a playboy. The vibe check was wrong as it sometimes can be. Some small part of me still thinks he has to be too good to be true. I pull my shirt over my head as I enter the room, freeing my breasts from any and all confinement. I pull down my shorts and open the bathroom door. I feel sticky from the car sex so I grab an oversized t-shirt and head to the shower.
I freeze as I hear Kohen stir in the bed and groan. Walking over to him naked, I reach out and run my finger across his exposed thigh. He is under my blanket but has one leg sticking out of it all the way up to his thigh.
I slowly move the blanket and find him in his birthday suit. I giggle and he stirs again. Backing up toward the door slowly to make my escape, I hear him say something. I wait a few seconds to see if he speaks again and when he doesn’t, I turn into the hall.
“Angel?”
I freeze. Did he just say Angel? As in the nickname he calls me?
“Kohen?” I whisper, looking over my shoulder at him. There's no response so I continue into the hall closet for a clean towel and grab him one for the morning, too. I tiptoe into the restroom and close the door, being careful not to wake him. I run the hot water and throw my hair in a bun since wash day isn’t until tomorrow. Steam fills up the small space and reality hits me like a ton of bricks.
We didn’t use a condom. Shit. I will need to send him for the morning-after pill. He didn’t want to use a condom, so he can go pay for it. I wonder if I should get on birth control if he’s going to want to fuck me without one.
Fuck.
We need to get tested, too. If there is one thing I don’t fuck around with, it's my sexual health. He has me being careless and I don’t like it, not one bit. Anger surges through me. I step into the scalding hot water, loving the burn of it on my skin. I let it run down my body and the tension releases making me feel weightless. I roll my neck side to side underneath the water. I haven’t started my dance rehearsals yet because of basics, I feel like I’m so behind. I know I’m going to feel sore from head to toe. I don’t tell too many people I’m a dancer because they look at me like I’m an alien. Thicker dancers have always been frowned upon.
The doorclicksand I see a shadow approach the outside of the curtain. My heart races, not from fear but from excitement. The thought of him excites me, and I don’t know how to fully comprehend that, but I’m going to roll with it for now. I watch his hand reach to pull the curtain back, and I rush to face away from the curtain so he doesn’t know I saw him coming. I let the water run over my face and try to hold back my laughter.
He’s quiet as can be as he steps in, his energy powerful. It exudes from him like an expensive cologne. Filling up my senses.
His arms wrap around me and I fake a little jump.
“I’m sorry, Angel, I didn't mean to scare you. I must have dozed off. Why didn’t you wake me up?”
I turn to face him and wrap my arms around his neck. He cranes his neck and our lips meet for a quick peck.
“You looked so peaceful sleeping, so I wanted you to rest. You did so much for me tonight.”
He tugs at the bottom of my hair, making my head roll back. Then he brings his mouth to my ear, biting it softly before speaking.
“I wanted to see you get naked for me.” His lips move from my ear, down to my neck, as he follows the trail to my collarbone that only he can see. I've given this man the map to my body and soul unwillingly. I don’t mind it but I’m scared shitless. I’m going to hate loving him because loving him means he can hurt me, break me in ways I haven’t let anyone close enough to do in so long.
My only hope is that he cherishes the fact that I’m giving him the honor to know me. My only solace is that he is doing the same exact thing for me. I feel aligned with him somehow, and as crazy as it sounds, I trust him.
We finish up the shower. He washes my body, moving slowly over the most intimate part, teasing me. As many times as I try to engage, he shuts me down. Usually, that would bother me, eat away at me, and make me feel unwanted. Hashtagsex trauma,but with him, it doesn’t hit that way. The intimacy he shows me outside of fucking me is weird and rare but enough to make me feel secure.Security isn’t real,the little voice reminds me. I believe her and pull back.
“You need to go get the morning-after pill for me tomorrow. I think you should grab it because you are the one who didn’t use a condom.” I look into his eyes as he responds, seeing if any flashes of anger pass there.
“Okay, Angel, no problem. I’ll grab it on the way home, and then bring it back so we can go on another date.”
“Another date,” I ask, smiling like the idiot I am.
“Yeah, I want to spend as much time with you as I can before training gets too crazy.” He shuts off the water and I scramble to find another topic to argue about because I wouldn’t be me if I just accepted he’s good.
“Also, we need to go get tested.” I exit the restroom, knowing that’s the one thing he will probably disagree with like most guys do. “I just got tested when my ex and I broke shit off. I haven’t been with anyone but you since then so I can either show you the results or go again. Whatever makes you feel comfortable.” I sigh in frustration.
