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I hate this. I hate every bit of it and that’s all I can think as we settle into the room, all twenty chairs filled and three men standing in the back corner.
The conversation swells from soft murmurs and gossip to one man speaking far too loudly in the room and then all at once stops.
Adrian strides to the head of the table to address everyone. If I hadn’t spent so much time with him, knowing the curve of his jaw, the strength in his stance, I might not notice the subtle darkness under his eyes, as if he hasn’t slept either.
His suit is crisp, though, custom fitted no doubt, and his shoulders set back, the air seeming to bend around him.
“Good morning,” he says, and my body instantly heats. He has all the power to turn our lives upside down, but I still crave the sound of his voice. “I’m not going to waste any time. As part of this company’s restructuring, some departments will be dissolved.”
Sucking in a breath, I prepare myself.
“Your applications will be suggested to a competitor who will need to hire a number of positions after a merger.” His eyes meet mine. “The only department that stays is brand positioning and marketing. It will stay in its entirety.”
Mutters fill the room instantly, but Adrian cuts them off with a gesture.
“Did he say our department?” Gail whispers. And I nod without thinking. It’s what he said, isn’t it? He said brand positioning and marketing?
Gail lets out a not-so-subtle sigh and grabs my hand, squeezing so tight that my knuckles hurt. My department is safe. I can barely breathe, let alone sit here and absorb everything else he said.
There will be a merger.
He said there will be a merger.
We are safe, but what are the details of the merger? What exactly is happening? A split-up? He continues, fielding questions and a few men file out without a single word. They’re pissed, dealing with the gravity of the situation. Everything seems to happen around me in a whirl. I have a million questions for Adrian. If the other sectors are being merged, what does that mean for my department? I rely on finance and purchasing and production to do what I do. Our department is all about ideas and relationships, but bringing those ideas to life relies on others. Does this mean I’ll have to outsource? To the new company, even?
It’s not long before I feel lingering stares on the back of my neck, and my ears go hot. They’re all stealing glances at me, one by one. The corners of their mouths are turned down in disapproving frowns.
They know.This looks bad. So fucking bad. And yet, it’s what I asked for. The reality of their assumptions hits me.
Everyone here knows I’ve been sleeping with Adrian, and they think he’s keeping my department because I couldn’t keep my legs closed. It will never matter to them that I took my own power in being fucked by him. All they see is a woman who went behind everyone’s back to sleep with the boss and guarantee her department would stay intact.
That sickening feeling takes over again. Every part of me is on edge and Gail seems to catch on, squeezing my hand again and whispering, “Fuck them.”
Frustration clenches my jaw. For so many years, I’ve thrown myself into this work and made tough calls and spoken my mind to my superiors even though I knew it would be risky to do it. I’ve been the one on the line many times, all in service of building this company into something worthwhile. Now everyone in the room thinks I slept my way to the top. Not even to the top. They think I slept my way to keeping my job.
My discomfort grows with the silence. I’m not sure what Adrian is waiting for, but no one does anything. No one pretends to have another meeting or rushes out with their cell phone to their ear.
It hits me then, that he’s reading the room the same as I am. He knows exactly what they think and why they’re all looking at me. Not Gail or anyone else from my department. Only at me. His gaze slips to mine and the back of my eyes prick. I can take it. I’ll deal with the fallout and whatever damage is done to my reputation.
Adrian is handsome and stone faced at the front of the room. He’s a defensive, arrogant asshole, that’s what he is. Adrian has a strong jaw and an even better smile, but the expression he wears now is hardly encouraging.
“Not one of you came to pitch to me,” he says finally in a deadly tone, and the room holds its breath. They’ve been waiting for the release of finally knowing what’s going to happen, and now Adrian’s dragging it out. “Not a single one of you but the lead for brand positioning and marketing. One of you came to me with a plan, and I may be a heartless prick, but if there is value and a potential profit …” He’s looking deeply into my eyes now, in front of all my colleagues. Every eye in the room is on us. “I do consider it.”
ADRIAN
Today was less than ideal. I’ve never felt so conflicted when it comes to business.
Because she’s a factor now. The moment the meeting ended, I left first and I’m ashamed to admit, I closed the door to my office to avoid it all. Especially Suzette and all the questions written in her expression in that conference room.
There’s not a doubt in my mind word will get out.
Wyatt clears his throat across from me, and I wish I’d canceled this meeting, but in truth, I’d forgotten about it until he walked through the door.
“Whatever’s going on, just tell me,” he comments from across my desk. A stack of papers, or more specifically, the contract he wants me to sign sits in front of him. To-go bags from a sushi place are in the other lounge chair beside him.
“We don’t have to discuss business,” he offers. He’s dressed in his lucky dove gray suit. He’s worn it to every wedding and every business meeting I’ve accompanied him to. He told me once that it’s his lucky charm. But as he fiddles with the thin pale pink tie, he leans forward, and his eyes search mine. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
“You didn’t come here to be my therapist.”
