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“That’s different!”
“It’s not, not really. You can do this. You can literally help change the world for the better in a massive way, and Robbie and I will be in your ear the whole time. You’ll never be alone.”
I wince at that. I’m already alone. I’ve never felt more alone in my life. He catches the expression, but before he can say something charming or touching or altogether confusing, I get up. “I need to think. Exercise, I think.”
He walks around to me. “Are you sure you’re okay to work out?”
I nod. “I’ll take it easy.”
“Use the treadmill. Just walk a little or—“
I cut him off. “I’ll be fine in my gym. I need to dance and clear my mind so I can think straight.”
“Let me hug you.” He takes a step forward.
“No.” I say backing up, but he grabs my arm and pulls me into his chest.
“Wasn’t asking.” He says into my hair.
“Mark—”I try to shove but his grip is tight. He’s closed around me like an envelope. A warm, hard, cage.
“Shh, just pretend for a second.” He puts a hand over my head and holds me to him. “Pretend you still want to be my partner.” His voice is scratchy and quiet. He smells like home. Coffee and clean linens and aftershave. But I don’t relax into him. He pulls back and takes my face in his hands. “I should’ve said yes.” I frown so he explains. “I should’ve said yes to being your partner.”
I hold back a sob. “It would’ve been a lie. Everything is a lie.”
“Not everything.”
“Yes, even now, you’re only holding me like this to manipulate me. You want me to…feel for you, but just so I’ll be your spy.”
I try to pull away, but he holds me and forces my eyes to meet his. “You have all the power here. You know that I love coffee, speak Spanish, and I have burns all over my body. That alone is enough to sign my death warrant. I’d be gone in a fake car accident, a robbery gone wrong or something, in an instant. Do I need you? Yes. But I want you, too. I want you to be mine again.”
I can only whisper. “I wish I could believe you.” I push his hands away and he lets me go. As I hit the bottom of the stairs,he calls out to me.
“Eleanna, I mean it about your power. Think about what you want. You want to run away and change your name, leave this life behind? You want to open a bakery? You want to leave me and marry that stupid Italian fucker? You can make demands here. Do this for me, and I’ll do anything and everything I can for you.”
I call back over my shoulder, “If I do this, it sure as hell won’t be for you.”
I make my way upstairs to my little studio. I put on a Tchaikovsky piece I’ve danced to a million times. I don’t even put on shoes, I just start moving. I let the tears flow as I think about my family. Who they, no, whoweare and whatwe’vedone. I’m a Delgado. And we are monsters.
But can I turn my back on them?
What other choice do I have?
CHAPTER 38
Mark
Well, I am feeling a million feelings and I fucking hate it. She walked down the stairs this morning and stood in the sun, her hair ablaze and her perfect body wrapped in white, and I let my true thoughts slip out in Spanish. An angel. Sent to save me or send me to my doom, that’s the damn question.
She hasn’t come down since this morning. I told her to eat and she said she’d help herself when she got hungry. Which was never, apparently. I’ve heard her shower, I think she took a nap.
I have no idea what she’s thinking. And there have been no updates from the team because they’re all waiting on me. On Ellie. So I’m pacing my office like a fucking tool.
I hear her come down the stairs and almost run to the kitchen to meet her. Again,tool.
“Can I make you a coffee?” It’s the best I can do. I even sound as nervous as I feel. I hate myself.
“No.” She goes to the pantry and gets bread and peanut butter. I just watch her like a creep. But I think if she came down, she’s ready to talk. I can wait. She takes eons to butter the bread, knowing I’m staring. Finally, she clears her throat.
