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“Who’s got you smiling so early?” Mom signs.
“No one,” I sign, trying not to look guilty. In quick movements, I shove the phone into my pocket and wrap my hands around the banana smoothie I made. The condensation seeps into my palm and makes my fingers slippery.
I’m still stumped by Dare. Most guys give teddy bears, flowers, or a Hallmark card to commemorate a relationship. Not a credit card with no limit.
Talk about going overboard.
Mom waves to get my attention and signs, “Dare?”
Shyness burns through my belly but, this time, it’s mixed with a hint of giddiness.
“He makes you happy.”
“He’s… a dork.” I sign while my grin widens. “He’s overwhelming. Ridiculous, really.”
She tilts her chin up, still wearing that studious, observant expression. “You like him a lot.”
I glance down because it’s hard to admit that to myself.
Mom knocks on the counter, so I look up again.
She signs, “He’s hearing.”
“And that’s unfortunate.” My lips flatten. “I’ve been trying not to think too hard about that.”
“It can work. He knows ASL, right?”
“Yeah, but I wanted my partner to know more than just ASL.”
“Well, he can learn. Even two hearing people have things to learn about each other. What makes the other person tick. What makes them happy or sad. What’s touchy territory and what’s not.”
She’s right, but I’ve always had this dream of what my life was supposed to look like. I didn’t know the face of the man I’d fall in love with, but I knew he’d be deaf. I knew it with all my heart.
This feels like… a betrayal to that dream.
“It’s different than what I pictured. The perfect man for me would come ready-built. I wouldn’t need to teach him every little thing from the ground up.”
“Yeah, but what’s the fun in that?” Mom gives me athink about itlook.
“This isn’t about fun.”
“Then is it about marriage? Are you two that serious?”
“No. I mean… I don’t know.” My movements get bigger as I try to communicate my frantic thoughts. “I know how Dare makes me feel, but I keep thinking that I shouldn’t take a detour with someone who isn’t going in the same direction that I am.”
“You think Dare doesn’t want to marry you?”
I lick my lips nervously. “No, I get the sense that he’s thinking of us long-term.”
“And that bothers you.” Her expression is one of understanding.
“We’re so different. Maybe for a short time we can date. Have fun. I like him more than I ever thought I’d like a hearing person. But he’s so…”
Mom waits, her head tilted.
“Seriousabout me. I can feel it. His intentionality. And I wonder if I should stop now before he gets hurt.”
“Or you do?” Her eyes narrow with a challenge.
