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“You went that deep?” She leans forward slightly, those light brown eyes piercing me.
“Trust is built. It’s earned. I want you to believe me when I tell you that the person on the phone was really just Mosely with an update on work. I want you to believe me when I come home late or leave on a trip for days or weeks at a time. I want you to believe me when we’re at a parent-teacher conference for our kid and the teacher doesn’t know ASL so you have to rely on me.”
She lifts a hand. “You want kids?”
“No.”
“No, you don’t want kids?”
“No, I don’tjustwant kids.” My heart patters harder. “I want kids with you.”
Eyelashes flutter.
Mouth agape.
I seem to put that shocked expression on her face often.
The pause stretches. This is definitely coming on too strong. Athena would scold me. Remind me to go at Yaya’s pace.
But thankfully, Yaya inhales, nods and moves on.
“How many?” she signs.
“How many kids?” I pretend to think about it, but really, I have an answer. It’s not the one I think she wants to hear so I say instead, “Pregnancy puts a strain on a woman’s body, so… that should be a discussion we have together—”
She raises a hand. “The truth, Dare.”
“I’m not lying.”
“You’re omitting something.”
“Am I?”
“You know you have a tell?”
“What’s my tell?”
“I’m not spilling my secrets.” The should-be-famous smile flits over her face again. The one that can knock me right off my feet. “Now tell me how many kids you want.”
Baby, I’ll have you pregnant as often as possible.
That’s a little too honest. I don’t need Athena in my head to know I better not say that.
“As many as I can.”
“With me?” she signs. Her expression is neither excited nor turned off. It’s like she’s clarifying.
“Yes.”
She shakes her head and sucks in a deep breath. Is she reacting like this because she doesn’t want kids? It’ll be a huge blow. It’s right up there with my ‘shouldn’t smoke’ and ‘must know cars’ dealbreakers. To be fair, I ignored one of those for Yaya and I have a feeling I would have ignored the smoking too because I was so enamored by her from the start.
But kids…
I brace myself, already trying to talk myself out of wanting kids because I would definitely want Yaya more than biological offspring anyway.
“Okay,” she signs.
That’s it?
